A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi, i have known this guy for about 20 years, im 37, he is 33. when we were younger we always met and flirted, and kissed a few times, but neither of us was single, so nothing happened. we both fancied each other but it never went beyond flirting. anyway, after not seeing him for five years, i unexpectedly ran into him one day when i was at work. He ask me out, as he is now single and so am i. Anyway, of course we did go out, and after all those years of lusting and flirting, we had sex. the week before we did have sex, he was texting umpteen times a day, then the day after we had, he had stayed the night, he went home and carried on with his own life, and didnt really text much. the next week he texted again all full on, and came up and we had mad passionate sex again. we have a really good time together, but when he goes home again, its all quiet until the next hook up.i have been hurt badly before, and before it goes on too far, i feel i should stop seeing him, unless he starts texting me on non sex days.I dont know if he is just reluctant to get involved ina relationship with me, or what is wrong. my gut instinct is that he is just in it for the sex, with someone he likes and feels comfortable with, but doesnt want involved in his daily life.Advice welcome please.x
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male
reader, called Steve +, writes (23 October 2009):
 Sounds like you're surplus to requirements until he's reached almost the bottom of the pile, then he calls you.
Start by setting those rules, keep your own company in bed and re-boot. See if he hangs around... my guess is he wont.
Steve
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009): He's texting you? Wonder how many other women are getting the same texts?
You are having sex with a guy that you are not in a committed relationship with. What do you think? It is just sex.
If you want a real relationship, work on the friendship first and set boundaries early. Why would you accept a hook up after a few texts. He isn't calling, doesn't sound like he is calling in advance and asking you out on a date....but if you really want to know what he wants or how he sees this or where it is going, how about asking him?
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (23 October 2009):
 It sounds like he is just using you for sex. I would stop having sex with him and see if he is still interested in you.
Good Luck!
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