A
female
age
30-35,
*keez
writes:Hello there!Okay I know this is probably one of many common situations for a woman with small breasts, but I'd like some advice.I have very low self esteem and my boyfriend knows how much I want to change myself. (Not for anyone, but myself). I noticed a while ago how my boyfriend really likes to look at breasts and etc, I am aware that most men do, but I asked my boyfriend what size breasts he prefers and he answered me with a DD.Now I know it's my fault for asking him such a question but his reply had really pulled down my confidence, seeing as I'm a 34 A. He tells me how much he likes my size and he wouldn't want any other, but I can't help thinking he would really prefer me to have his ideal DD. I find myself cowaring away when we go out together in town when any girl with a big bust walks by. I know I shouldn't feel so bad about myself, but I really cant help it. Since my boyfriend's reply (which was about 4 months ago) I've had troubles with my confidence and I've become much more bitter towards girls. I am also diagnosed with Dysthymia (depression) and I've starved myself a few times becuase I hate my body. I know it was a very stupid thing to ask him, but some things that I don't want to hear... I just want to hear more if that makes any sense. I've always disliked my body and his reply has just made me feel worse. I've talked to him about it and Ii mention it quite a lot, which I wish I wouldnt do. I wish I could just forget about his answer but he always replies with 'it was your fault for asking' which I understand.I just wish he would realise how upset I am. I feel awkward when he talks to girls now or looks at any other girl, before I was fine with it just not now.Any help would be really appreciated.Thanks lots
View related questions:
breasts, confidence, self esteem Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (7 August 2007):
 You just go out to Victoria Secret and you buy yourself the prettiest push up bra they have in your size and you may just be amazed at how those little babies are going to turn heads! Sometimes you just gotta dress up the package if you want to get noticed! Does wonders for your confidence when you can wear a low-cut top and have eye-popping cleavage. But by all means, don't starve yourself, it just makes your boobs smaller! (They are mostly fat anyhow). You could have them surgically enhanced if you want to, or you could just eat yourself into a 36C by gaining 25 lbs. but you probably won't enjoy the big butt that comes along with them. Try not to be too hard on yourself otherwise. He did say he likes your breasts, and trust me every guy always wants them to be bigger - I don't care how big they are!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): hey, you know what, when I was 15-16 I had A cup breasts too! Just remember you are still developing babe. I'm 22 now and I have C cups (I'd say they were full grown boobs by the time I was about 21) I used to think they would stay small forever, and I hated my body too. I was skinny with small boobs and not much of a figure (slim hips so I had hardly any curves)dont worry, and dont even think about starving yourself! you'll make yourself feel much worse. Try and eat a good healthy diet, and excercise. Dont worry about your boyfriend liking big boobs, yours might be D cups one day, and besides, its whats inside that counts. You can always wear 'chicken fillets' you know, gel implants you put in your bra to boost your confidence if you need a boost when you go out. I found that helped me a lot.good luck, and keep your chin up!!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): Well, it's a 'man thing', fantasising about huge bazookas. My partner is a 34A and I'm deliriously happy with what she's got. My 2 ex wives were both a bit on the large side but having had experience of mega-jugs I now know I've got the better deal.
My exes couldn't go without a bra without looking ridiculous, and a pert pair of titties beneath a T shirt is as sexy as it gets. Big jugs get sweaty and they suffer from what I call 'athletes tit', with a load of sweat-induced fungal skin underneath them.
Walk tall, stand proud, or whatever you choose to call it. You're perfect as far as I'm concerned!
Phil
Trust me, what you've got is just superb and is my idea of perfection.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): You are too young to be stuck in a relationship with a guy who is insensitive and to be honest possibly immature - as his comments are not helping your own confidence. Trouble is.... being depressed about these issues makes you cling to the very people that put you down because you desperately want to be accepted and loved by them - so its a viscious circle. Try to concentrate your emotions on your own self esteem. When I was 16 my boyfriend used to say how lovely womens hair was that was long, blonde and straight. I had curly bob length hair with a tendency to go frizzy in the rain. He also said he loved me just the way I was and that make-up didn't suit me - and yet he gawped at girls that were perfectly made-up. The moral of this tale is that because I 'endured' this seemingly mental torture for years I now have issues about my appearance even now - similar to yours (but I'm 35!) If you can nip it in the bud and really work on your own feelings of beauty both inside and out it will pay huge dividends in the long term. As for breast size I have slightly grown from a 32b at your age to a 32d over the years so you may still change. I worked on a lingerie department for a year and was trained to fit women in the right bras. I can honestly say that the happier women were smaller - they had (at the time) more choice in lacy, dainty undies and did not have the difficulties much larger women have of unwanted attention, additional weight and support issues and sometimes sagging due to muscles stretching etc. D and DD are not that large anyway - we used to provide bras up to a size HH. We also used to fit women into special bras who had had their breasts removed due to cancer - their bravery in the fitting room always both humbled and shocked and I really felt for them when, in tears, they would say to me they only felt like half a woman and really unfeminine. It made me realise very quickly that breasts - large and small are both functional and beautiful and are so important to us - we may not realise what we have until they are no longer there. As women, they have the gift of making us feel very feminine sexually, with a partner and can also help us bond through the closeness of breast feeding if we have a baby. Please ensure you are proud of your body by taking care of yourself. If you really wish to enhance your size there are some great 'cleavage' enhancing bras - they are not expensive. Young men often fantasize and are basic creatures, but if you honestly don't feel happy with your relationship take a little more time out for yourself and be amongst supportive female friends - you should be enjoying the freedom of experimenting with clothes, make-up and hairstyles - not bogged down with overwhelming negativity like this. I hope this helps - don't hesitate to chat things through with an older female friend or relative who is non-judgemental if you can find someone. Luck and Love to you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): I know exactly what you mean, I am a 34A and I used to be self conscious and uncomfortable about my boobs and the way i looked but at the end of the day you get what your given and i come to terms with that. Some people aren't built for big boobs i'm a size 8 and have never dieted in my life! My boyfriend always looks at other girls boobs and it doesn't bother me anymore although it used to get to me really badly, it used to make me think that i wasn't good enough but then i realised it's what men do!! They wouldn't be normal if they didn't like big boobs but that doesn't mean they don't like small one's either. (more than a hand fulls a waste lol).Don't worry yourself hun, you boyfriend loves you for who you are not because you have small boobs. xx
...............................
|
