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anonymous
writes: Can someone tell me whether they think it is okay to argue while in a relationship? My partner believes that arguing gets us nowhere and that we simply shouldn't do it but instead calmly express what we feel or if things get a bit heated, to drop it and bring it up another time when things are less fraught.My friends also say arguing isn't the right thing to do, not to insult each other and to let things drop as you could totally exhaust an issue and all you would then be left with is both of you feeling rather stressed.My boyfriend gets very stressed when we do argue and he just can't handle it really, says I don't listen to him properly. It makes me very wary to say anything.What do you think??? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2005): When a person argues in a relationship it is normal because if it wasn't normal we wouldn't have so many people getting divorced.Dont worry. You need to understand each other and it will soon be over stay calm.
A reader, livvy, writes (30 January 2005): i think it is good to argue, but not to be rude. Every couple that really love each other have to argue sometimes! Every couple goes through a rough patch, but believe me it will get better. Arguing is the best way to get rid of your anger, otherwise who would you let it out on? If you really love each other then yer you will argue!Hope it all gets better!
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A reader, Kerry Green, writes (30 January 2005): Arguing is not the answer. I know we all end up arguing sometimes when we get too emotional about the issue. But you should try to express how you feel in a calm way by explaining what it is that has upset you and how you feel when what ever it is you are upset about happens. While doing this you should also try to remember you are talking to your partner remember to treat him with respect just as you would like him to treat you. All you are suppose to be doing is drawing his attention to the problem without forgetting you are both people who will respond better if you are not being shouted at or talked down to. Just never get so comfortable that you forget to have regard for each others feelings.
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