A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I just got married 3 weeks ago. the woman I married was hypersexual in the past. before we met, she prayed to be delivered from her hypersexual habits. We did not have sex at any time during our engagement. This was a personal choice for both of us. I love her very very much and I am convinced that she loves me the same. The problem is that we have only had sex 1 time since we have been married. At this point she has no interest in sex. Why? I feel robbed. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, frogrus  +, writes (5 November 2010):
 Maybe dear Lord finally answered on her pray. Seriously, our thoughts are material. As you said she didn't like being hypersexual, prob because she was ashamed of it (I would guess you guys are very religious). However, it was before the marriage, and now you can cuttle as much as you want without compromising your beliefs. Why you won't talk to her about this or even better have a talk in a bathtub while washing each other.
Also, she might not get over a sexual fasting. Sounds weird but it may be a case. You program your body and it takes some time to change the initial program. Since I moved to college away from my bf my libido went down, and I used to be a sexual maniac. I thought that my desire would come back during my bf visit me but it didn't.
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (5 November 2010):
 You have been robbed. Exclusivity implies availability. Some adjustment period from chastity to marital nymphomania is expected, but once in the three weeks immediately following a wedding is B.S.
Are you sure about the hypersexuality? You did not have sex during the engagement, and you say she prayed to be delivered before you met (which sounds more like a religious response to the biological clock than a spiritual awakening, to me, but I could be wrong).
Anyway, a common misconception is that marriage is basically the end of the whole pickup and seduction routine, that you can finally relax and just enjoy sex. If anything, marriage is just Round 2 of the whole rat race. You have to work at least as hard to seduce her now as you would have while engaged, or just dating. That means dominant, assertive behavior, that means excelling at work and in hobbies, and basically refusing to put up with any nonsense, from anyone.
That may take several months to work - if you don't think you can do it, you should anull the marriage immediately, citing lack of consumation (assuming your state even has that on the books; a lot don't). Have to do it quick, though, or divorce would be the only real option - and, if my cynicism is right, she'll take everything in the proceedings.
While I seriously doubt that just sitting her down and talking about it will help, you're welcome to try. The problem with that is that you *cannot* logically convince someone to be in the mood. Frequently, getting a woman in the mood involves bypassing her rational mind altogether. Still, if you believe she's rational enough to fake it 'til she makes it, or just lie back and think of England, feel free to try.
...............................
|
