A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:It's been pretty crazy for the past few months. My daughter's father and I have been going thru a child custody battle and I am emotionally strain from all this. My daughter's father decided to come to my place of employment announced and decided to "act a fool". I told him to leave but he wouldn't. So, I told him I'm calling the cops which I did. That's when he decides to leave. I ask GOD to help him. I even pray for this man. I know he hates me right now but I know I'm doing the right thing not only for myself but especially my daughter. I know he's going thru a lot (being kicked out of the Navy, his kids aren't doing so well in school, his living situation (find somewhere to move due to high price in rent), he's drinking (may be getting even worse). I left because a person can only take so much. I did my part in our relationship of making it better however, it was a one way street. I work my usual 9 to 6 even overtime (at times)because I was the main bread winner, the main household provider, come home, play with my daughter, take her a bath, put her to sleep and off I go with "me time". I worked my azz off but no appreciation on making the household a UNIT. His verbal abuse around our daughter was just enough. Why is this man the way he is? He thinks I'm the one that needs help but he's the one that needs it.
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (11 May 2007):
 I don't think you need help in the way he suggests - you have obviously been a very strong person who has made the right choice for your family. Frankly, you shouldn't analyse why your ex is the way he is - his verbal abuse was a form of domestic violence and all you can hope is that he gets help for his problems. I would assume you would get custody of your girl and you can ask the courts for supervised visitation orders if you think he is a risk to your daughter. You can also have an injunction served on him by the police to stop him coming near your home or workplace and harassing you. You definitely need to pat yourself on your back for losing the drop-out and starting a new life where you gain stability and lose nothing much. If you remain firm with him then you should know your future will be happier than your past.
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