A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:alright so im 17 years old and my boyfriend is 28 years old. we have been together for a year and a half. the thing is he used to work at my school as a security guard. he left my school about 6 months ago to move onto another job. we met through the school i go to. my parents know about him but they don't know im dating him they thiunk we are friends but hate when i talk about him. they are against me dating someone 5 years older than me so i haven't told them. i gave him my virginity 4 months ago and the result now is im pregnant. my parents have no idea but my boyfriend is happy he said he wants me to be his "baby momma". about a week ago i came down with a very bad cold and my boyfriend took me to the doctor. i guess i have mono and i got it from my boyfriend. i would like to know how the hell my boyfriend got mono and if this is going to harm my baby. ever since i have been pregnant all my boyfriend wants to do is have sex cuz it turns him on that im pregnant i guess and he gets a little to into it. the other night after one of his football games that he plays for we had sex but i told him i didnt want to but he insisted and he held my hands down and grinded into me. i dont know what the hell to do. i feel like shit and now i feel violated and its not like i can tell my parents.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): Peadophile, rape, rapist blah blah People wont come out of their tunnel vision. Well, you yourself look like you want to hear those things but I feel obligated to say a few things.
I got this from a website about mono.
"In addition, the virus can be transmitted in other ways, such as sipping from the same straw or glass as an infected person — or even being close when the person coughs or sneezes."
This is such a non-issue, something u should not have brought up in a forum. He is ur boyfriend. Try to trust a person first.
I would expect a guy who is afraid of commitment to react differently when he finds his gf pregnant. He would probably try to convince her to abort the baby. He is responsible legally to support the baby for 18 years right? That very fact makes me think he is a family type guy. I may be wrong but we have to trust our boyfriends until it is proven beyond doubt that they are wrong. Some guys have a thing for pregnant girls. Some guys are totally turned off by pregnant girls. But neither means that the guy is good or bad. I would imagine that your boyfriend is excited about the fact that you are now mommy of his baby.
I am not sure about the legal issues. As far as I know age of consent varies from state to state. It could be 16 in your state making it legal to have sex. And regarding to feeling violated, it is all in your point of view. Learn to love your boyfriend, then you wont feel that violated. Dont get ideas like "he raped me" into your head. Some women (and men) like to put every kind of sex into the category of rape which actually does more harm to women than good.
I would agree with others in one thing though. You need to tell your parents that you are pregnant. If things turn out bad like he is really a bad guy who should be gotten rid of, it would help if they are in touch with the state of matters.
A
female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (3 June 2009):
 Honey - it sounds to me like he raped you. You're pregnant, he's being aggressive, violent, you need to put your baby first.
I really don't mean to be harsh, but why is a guy who's almost 30 dating a 17 year old? Guys that age should be looking for girls a fair bit older than you, so why isn't he?
Your story made me feel quite sad, that situations like this go on every day. I had an ex who was violent towards me, only the once, but he left me scarred on my feet and my knee and I will never forget that, and never let another man put his hands on me again.
Go to your family - they might be angry or upset, but you're their baby and always will be, and will only want to make sure you're safe and looked after.
Let me know how you get on xx
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (3 June 2009):
 Here the links as promised:
National Domestic Violence Hotline.
Phone 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233).
Website http://www.ndvh.org
Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network
Phone 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
Website http://www.rainn.org
And one from Plannedparenthood.org:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/relationships/safe-your-relationship-19917.htm#help
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (3 June 2009):
You can tell your parents. It's just that it's going to be hard to start the conversation. Think this through. You are pregnant. You are going to start showing. Your parents are going to find out sooner or later. Tell them now, and this will give them time to come to come to grips with this. They'll be upset for a bit, but you are their daughter and they love you. They will want the best for you.
If you put this off and don't tell them, you will leave them less time to adjust and you will be exposing yourself to more situations where your boyfriend can violate you again.
I know you are feeling very low and don't know which way to turn. Please try to talk to your parents, today is as good a day as any. I'll see if I can find you a hotline or website that might be able to help you have this talk. Okay?
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (3 June 2009):
 I couldn't have said it better, Superdolly is so right about this. This guy is a Paedophile and a rapist.
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A
female
reader, superdolly +, writes (3 June 2009):
he wants you to be his baby momma who the hell does this guy think he is liek he can just run around being a slag and raping young girls while you look after his blood. i feel so sorry for u my ex 2 years ago stole my virginity even tho i told him i didnt wana have sex and yeh you have to be strong for you and your baby now. i'm not too sure but i think you being 17 in the states is ilegal and the fact he forced u into it you should lock him up. but first you need your mum and dads support because they love you not this guy sure theyl be mad and then disapointed but at the end of the day wouldn't you rather their support than non at all from this horrible bastard of a guy no offence. you be strong and even if you can't tell your parents to their face write them a letter you need them more than you need this looser and a man who forces you into something will never respect you, if you have a baby boy you want him growin up thinking he can treat women this way or a girl being forced into sex no. you know hes no good deep down thats why you wrote this and it makes me so sad because you can be a strong independent woman and a mother and be 10 x better off without this guy xxx i wish you all the best don't be scared of your parents they'll always love u no matter what and if they dont there not worth having as parents anyway. stay strong
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