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Now he's "damaged goods" I should have went out with him when I could have

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 January 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 24 January 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, *ami writes:

The boy I like now, liked me back in High School for 3 courses in a row. He asked me out several times but I never went out with him. I didn't want a boyfriend back then but now I started to like him. Unfortunately, I came to like him too late bacause he just found a girlfriend and had sex for the 1st time. That shouldn't bother me but it does, and it made me sad to know that I lost a really good guy. Even if he leaves his girlfriend and asks me out again I couldn't go because I dont like the fact that he's not a virgin anymore, and it bothers me that I had the chance of being with him and let it pass. What do u think?

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A female reader, Cami United States +, writes (24 January 2009):

Cami is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Cami agony auntI should look to the future, and that's what I'll do for sure if he asks me out again. I'm startig to get over what happened or better said "what didn't happen", lol, its ok.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (22 January 2009):

Honeypie agony auntWell thank you for clearing that stuff us with the title of your post. If you have feeling for him, go for it. Don't look back, look to the future.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2009):

If the guy's virginity is important to you like that, then it is.

We can't just re-carve our emotions to suit the the circumstances when they change. Emotions aren't something we have control over. We only have control over our actions and decisions.

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A female reader, Cami United States +, writes (21 January 2009):

Cami is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Cami agony auntI would never call him "damaged goods", that was not me who put that title, I guess it was the person in charged of the webpage who decided to call my situation that way.

Thank u guys so much for answering, really.

Is not that the virginity thing matters so much, I mean, it does in a way, but what really bothers me is that I started to like him now and not back then. Plus the fact that now that I like him, he found someone else and had sex with her so easy. If I had just come to like him a few months ago, none of these would have happened. But I cant go back and fix it, and everything happens for a reason.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (21 January 2009):

Honeypie agony auntWow damaged goods, that is way harsh.

If you regard him as "damaged goods" because he had sex with someone else then you, you need to not start dating him..

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A female reader, PunkyPippi United States +, writes (21 January 2009):

PunkyPippi agony auntDon't regret it- you did what you felt was right at the time.

It sounds more like you want what you can't have, which is completely normal. Now you've placed restrictions on him that he can never pass because firstly, you just didn't like him, and secondly, you won't be with him because he's no longer a virgin.

If you liked him enough, the virginity thing wouldn't matter.

Also, this is all hypothetical because he's now in a (hopefully) committed relationship.

Examine the reasons you really are interested in him now. If you feel like you just let a good guy slip through your fingers, don't let it happen again.

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