A
male
age
30-35,
*rying2011
writes:Me and my girlfriend had been dating for a long time about two years or so and for some stupid reason about two months before we broke up I told her that I had cancer, everything was fine, I have absolutely no idea why I did it and I regret it greatfully. It's been about a year since we broke up and she has a boyfriend who is one of my friends but that's not the problem, the problem is that we don't talk we aren't really friends even though she says she forgives me, I say I don't really have feelings for her and I know I do, I just want to be friends with her though and maybe build off of that later but it's very awkward and I don't know what to do.
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male
reader, trying2011 +, writes (21 November 2008):
trying2011 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwhoever wrote the top one thank you so so much that means a lot to me and i can understand what your trying to tell me
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2008): Ok I understand where you are coming from. I did this with a boyfriend when I was 18. I wanted attention and to be made to feel special and for him to spend more time with me. I carried on with this lie for weeks and weeks adding bits to it until it was completely out of proportion. One day I was sitting at my desk in my office and I thought I can't do this anymore. I rang him and told him that I had lied, why I had done it and how sorry I was. I told him I understood that it was over between us, I didn't even give him the chance to dump me and that was that. I really loved him and wanted him back but I could never get over my embarrassment at what I had done. His parents knew too and really cared about me and the whole thing was a nightmare. I felt so guilty. Well, I still saw him in groups and things when I went out but neither he nor his friends would ever talk to me again. I expected nothing more. I think accepting that what I had done was so wrong and acknowledging that he would not forgive me helped me accept the situation. He kept away from me and that was the way it was. Many many years later I banged into him in London and we talked and he seemed pleased to see me. I was a bit hesitant because it was still so strong in my mind what I had done but he didn't bring it up. We had dinner one night and I had to bring it up and he said it was so long ago he'd forgotten that I had done that.All I can say is if she did love you she will forgive you and she will understand why you did what you did. I would be pleasant when you see her but not try to get close to her again until you can see how time is helping matters. Although what you did was wrong don't look too desperate. She is going out with your friend so keep a watchful eye on that relationship. Make sure she knows you are really sorry and that you wish things were different between you. I wouldn't let her know that you are still keen because of your friend/ her boyfriend as that may make matters worse but just see wait and see how this relationship goes for her and then step in if it goes wrong.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (20 November 2008):
Well what did you really think would happen?
You did the crime and now you are doing the time.
Just move on with your life and accept that you blew it. You'll know to never lie to your girlfriends about anything every again after this and that can only be a good thing.
Good Luck!! xx
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