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female
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*onelylover
writes: My boyfriend, for my birthday and Christmas - yep both in the same month - has got my nothing still for either of them. Not even a card. My feelings are hurt and it is pretty much drawing the line on everything. I have talked to him about it. He states money issues, but I say it's bs. With the little sex we have, no b-day, and no Christmas presents, I am so heartbroken. It has caused me to become very snappy and rude to him throughout the day. I don't know how to fix it or to solve it. Come on, not even flowers. I need some advice. If there are any guys out there help me please. I am breaking inside due to the lack of everything my man doesn't send or give. help me
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female
reader, purrfectionist84 +, writes (3 January 2006):
 My ex-boyfriend was like that. We were in a long distance relationship for four years, and he only once, in four years, sent me a Christmas present (a book that cost about $10, including the postage) and only once, in four years, sent me a birthday present (two dozen roses). I know that he wasn't made of money, but he could have at least sent me a card. He didn't call, either. I used to spend birthdays and holidays sulking, feeling like my boyfriend did not love or appreciate me. Now I'm with someone who would not conceive of missing a birthday, holiday, or anniversary, and not surprisingly, our relationship in general is much happier.
If he's like this now, early on in the relationship, when he's supposed to be focused on making a good impression, then you can't expect things to change in the future, even if you become engaged or married.
You should be with someone who puts more effort into the relationship. I used to tell myself that my ex-boyfriend's love was all that I needed, and that gifts were unimportant, but deep down inside, I was hurting because his lack of attentiveness to birthdays and holidays made me feel like he just didn't care and like he did not love me after all. Eventually, I felt so unhappy with our relationship that I broke up with him. It sounds to me like your relationship might be on the same path.
I agree with Tinkz--throw him to the sharks! You deserve better.
Best of luck to you.
A
female
reader, kitykat +, writes (3 January 2006):
my b-friend didnt get me a christmas present either on christmas day we had been seeing each other 3month an all my friends said what did he get you i said nothing they said dump him but they dont no what hes really like either do i so i say tell him again how much it hurt you and say what you would like him to get you hope it helps
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A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (3 January 2006):
 Dearie, i understand why u r sad he should at least be able to get u a card. i really dont understand why. maybe u should try talking to him like happytochat suggested to find out if he was thinking it was only expensive stuff that could be provided as gifts.
Let him know that u understand that he doesnt really have enough money and a simple gift or even a card would have been enough. if he really does loves u i bet he will go out and get u a belated card or gift immediately.
If he still doesnt improve or get u anything then maybe u should leave and get someone else who would be more appreciative.
Goodluck
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (3 January 2006):
Maybe he isnt just making a lame excuse. Some guys arent good at picking out presents or even coming up with an idea. And there is also a common ideology (belief) that girls would like a huge, great present, like jewlery, which is usually quite expensive. So perhaps he see it that enless he has like 1million dollars saved up he cant afford to take any out, as he thinks a present would cost alot! some people honestly have that view. Have you asked him why he couldnt even afford a card which costs like a couple of dollars or some flowers? He probably thinks you have very high expectations.
So I think you need to explain that ot him and if he still cant put any effort in then maybe its best to leave him so you can feel better and loved.
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A
female
reader, Tinkz  +, writes (3 January 2006):
 Why would you want to fix or solve it, he obviously couldn't care, why should you.
Don't let a man make you feel like that.
He needs to show some appreciation and if he can't then he doesn't deserve you!
It's one thing if he forgets your anniversary ONCE but your birthday and christmas thats just an unforgivable offence.
Toss him to the sharks!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2006): u have time 2 get away dont marry him and be a fool let him go its not love..don't let him keep hurting ur feelings because it only gets worse,,u love him he doesn't love u..i married mine like that then the beatings began so please look around because love doesn't hurt
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