A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing a guy off and on for almost six years. He has NEVER touched me below the waist. He seems to really like my breasts and loves me to touch him and kiss him all over, of course. I guess the main reason I continue to see him sometimes is because I'm really curious about why he doesn't touch me. We have had intercourse twice, but that was a few years ago, and it was very clinical in that he told me to take off my pants, and he still didn't touch me with his hands -- not even my thighs. When we did have intercourse, he seemed to lose his erection quickly and totally didn't seem to like it. He never has problems maintaining an erection otherwise.I have asked him about this, and he insists he's not gay. He has told me that he thinks that the vaginal area is gross because it's moist and dirty -- that blood comes out from there, that there's an odor.... He doesn't act gay otherwise. I realize that's stereotyping and mean no offense, but sometimes you can just tell if someone is gay, though I'm sure not all the time. He's 40 and never been married. I've asked him if he's ever been in love, and he says no. Also, he makes derogatory comments about homosexual men (I tell him that's not nice), so I'm wondering if he's projecting in some way -- maybe he's trying to cover up that he is gay by acting like he doesn't like gay men -- or approve of their lifestyle.I'm really baffled that he doesn't like anything -- on women, at least -- below the waist! Also, he will kiss me, but I don't really think he's much into that either. Very strange!Do you think it's possible for a man to be straight and not like the vaginal area on a woman?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010): Gay?...probably not. Wierd hangups stimulated by who knows what? ...definitely. Unless you have the time, and most of all, patience and love for this guy to delve into his emotional past and resolve these hangups (with a therapist), I'd say move on. Performance anxiety or a normal barrage of hangups are one thing. But 6 years of wierdness like this is not the sign to me of a healthy relationship...friendship maybe, but sexual relationship...no. Hell, it took me half a year to get back into dating and "functioning" normally after a 15 year marriage...and let me tell ya, I am a straight, "secretion-loving" hot blooded male. So ya gotta give men a chance...but 6 years telle me he has some serious sex-issues. A wet pussy is about as much of a turn on any guy is gonna get. If he don't likey...move on sistah.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010): Just tell him that the whole 'vagina is dirty' thing is just incorrect.
In fact its one of only two organs in a human body that is self-cleaning. The other is the eye.
In fact, it only becomes 'dirty' when something is wrong with it.
You need to discuss this with him. Because clearly you want more than he either can, or is willing, to give you.
Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010): Yes. It's called asexuality. Go look it up.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (7 July 2010):
 Well covered topic so far. Here is my take on it. Is he attracted to men? If not he isn't homosexual. Could he be hiding something? Sure, we can't tell.
We do know one thing, he is not a functioning heterosexual. That really is the point here. For some reason in his past he has acquired an aversion to female genitalia. This aversion affects his sexual response to the point of disability.
So if you are willing to live with that disability, go forward. If he is willing to seek help, and you are willing to participate, go forward. If neither one of those is true then, irreconcilable differences. The end.
I honestly don't believe a person stays in a difficult relationship for 6 years without having real affection for the other person. So logically there is something here to save. Remember he has got further with you than anyone else ever.
FA
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (7 July 2010):
 Six years is a really long time to wait just to find out if your suspicions are true. It sounds like he's not completely heterosexual, if heterosexual at all, and is trying to cover it up while being in denial of that fact at the same time.
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A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (7 July 2010):
you show me a man who doesn't like the girly area! he makes fun of homosexural men because it could be a cover up? i wouldn't of lasted 2 yrs in that relationship! i had a man once when i would be on top we would say i looked like a man go figure? and iam not braging but iam a good looking woman, w/ a slim figure olive skin & long 3 tone color hair.
i would have to say he's gay! i would feel sorry for the woman who does marry him because when she has a baby whatis he going to think then about down their.
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A
male
reader, KingOfThron  +, writes (7 July 2010):
 Form a male point I think that it maybe time to move on :( I have never seen or heard of a man not liking that part of the body(stright man).
Apart of a relasonship is the Love life, and it seems that you may not have it, or it is a one way thing for him. You need to feel some of the love also, and being touched twice in 6 years(and not having good results) might be a sign to move on im afrade
But if you want to try and bring your love life up, try to limit him to only sex and see how that gose. If he has a problem with oder or blood just wait and dont give him any till you'r off your period and after you get a shower(and trim/shave/clean down there) try to make get him to try and touch you.
If your getting no where you might have to sit down and thing if your love life is worth giving up, and him still getting some for your happyness, or if your fine with not having that part in this relasonship, But make sure your happy thats all.
I hope this helped a bit!
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (7 July 2010):
 I know a few gay men, and I have to say that some of them LOVE breasts. (Think of drag queens!) They just don't want the rest of the package.
Whatever it is, this guy finds female genitalia and the secretions thereof revolting. I'll give him menstrual fluids but the rest? Um, I think a lubricated, turned on woman would be a complete turn on for a heterosexual guy.
Either he's got a problem with bodily fluids or he's gay. Either way, he's not really a viable long-term partner for you, alas.
I'd move on. Sadly, with regret, but buh-bye.
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