A
female
age
41-50,
*ariposa28
writes:I'm at a loss for words and feelings. I don't know if I should stay with my fiance anymore. I can't trust him. I feel like he has lied to me time and time again. I constantly find notes from girls and all he says its girls who want to get with him, but this recent one seems more than she wanting to get with him. it sounds like if they are messing around, because in the letter she states that half of her is ok with the situation most of the time but the other half isn't. It hurts me because he told me he would never do anything to break our happy home and it hurts more because he's not only going to hurt me he's going to hurt our baby girl. I just need some advice. Will i be doing the right thing if i confront him about this and tell him i'm done and i'm leaving. I just don't know what to do.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (9 November 2010):
 Notes? I'm hoping as in love letters...The last time I passed a note was in middle school before texting was popular.
I'm with Honeypie, photocopy these notes so you can shove them in his face and watch him squirm. If it's nothing, then why are all these women writing him notes. A note is personal, often to share your thoughts and feelings. I say something is up. Postpone this engagement.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 November 2010):
 Keep all the notes and confront him. Trust your gut on this one.
If he is cheating on you now, being married will not make him stop, a RING and some vow's never stops a cheater.
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A
female
reader, bobizzle +, writes (8 November 2010):
wow this is hard cause i've been in ur place and hers if u think its more than just girls wanting him it probably is. another question is y is he keeping the notes if they mean nothing? Don't keep this in talk to him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): You are justified in feeling as you do. It can be one of the most devastating experiences when we discover that our world as we know it... has been turned upside down. The moment we learn about the other side of someone, their private life kept apart from us, and feeling the fool for having given from our heart.
Lying and blame shifting are two scenarios that may pop up when confronting him. Be prepared for him to try to make you out to be crazy, shift it onto you, make excuses (eg. the baby changed things)... you name it. Then comes the lying. Rewriting history. Well, you get the idea.
I'm sending you my words... please take them in knowing that I wish the absolute best for you...
Do not allow any of this to even transpire. Confront him and put the ball in his court to disprove. See if you can line up another place to stay with your baby or ask him to leave. I'd say your relationship opens the door for discussion and perhaps even reconciliation given the presence of your daughter... however, that will be something he must earn from you. That's right... he must earn it.
He is obviously up to no good and this little note certainly gives the appearance that he has been cheating on you. It is up to him what he does when confronted. Hopefully, he will man up.
Remember, there is never a reason for cheating. Never forget that. Safeguard you and your baby and find the support from your family.
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