A
female
age
41-50,
*olita
writes: Dear friends, I have always appreciated and taken seriously your insightful and wise advice! Well, I have known this guy for four years when we both used to be with other partners. After we both broke up we met due to some professional circumstances and we started going out occasionally ( he was actually single after many years of being in two serious relationships). We were acting like two good friends but one night we had sex, after going out After that everything was okay, we were acting like friends ( our slogan was we are friends!!). I know he was trying to date other girls and I was doing the same with other guys..We met on some other occasion, had sex and after a year we lost contact, in spite of the fact that we occasionally met and had a chat at a local pub. Due to some professional reasons, we met again a couple of days ago and he asked me whether I had a boyfriend and I told him that i met a guy who is living abroad and we had a distance relationship ( that was not true but I just didn’t want him to know I was single). Then we arranged to meet up for drinks and he started telling me about his failed relationships and that he has been single for a couple of months because he is picky and cannot compromise. To make a long story short , we had sex during the weekend and this time it was evident that he was more passionate..it was much different from our earlier sexual encounters and he expressed very positive things about me…I expressed very positive thoughts about him as well and we both agreed that we are two good friends!! Now I don’t know what to say..i really like that guy but I have never tried to show him that I wanted to be with him )...Even though I do like him I do not want to fool myself by contacting him to meet up again or to make him understand that i want to be with him on a more regular basis. I would really appreciate your advice
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 December 2014):
If you even think you want to try having a full blown relationship with this man you need to put your cards on the table ASAP.
I would just say to him "hey have you ever considered us being more than just good friends since we do so well together?"
if he says NO... do NOT sleep with him again. YOU will get HURT.
If he hems and haws and thinks about it.... don't sleep with him again till he gives you an answer.
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