A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi - Can anyone help as I don't think I want to be with my partner anymore.My partner and I had been seeing each other for just over 4 years when we split up in February. Things really hadn't been right since about September last year. We didn't live together or anything and have no kids together. I was the one that ended the relationship but my ex kept contacting me trying to sort things out and in the end I suppose I felt some sort of 'duty' to meet up with him.We decided to give it another go about 9 weeks ago but I just can't feel the same as I once did. While we've been apart something has gone from the relationship for me and I suppose it must have done some time ago for me to end it in the first place.We have very different outlooks on life - both having children from previous relationships and I really don't think I can see a longer term future for us together.Although we do get on really well I just can't get all the feelings back that I once had. I really don't want to hurt him but I can't cope with the strain of trying to think that I'm truely happy.Has anyone else felt the same? Can anyone relate?Thanks.
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male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (10 November 2007):
 Hi. It appears you have come to your decision - so you shouldn't be feeling guilty. When you have been apart for a while - the feelings fade - and you tend to see someone as they really are - rather than as thro' the rose tinted spectacles that your feelings create.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): All though I never had children with my ex I can relate to your problem. My ex and I broke up after fours years of dating and living together becuase he cheated. After time away from each other we tried to give it another shot. Needless to say, it didn't work. The feelings that were once there no longer existed. I think that for me personaly I was lonely. I missed the love that we once shared and wanted to fill that again. But...the time and hurt was too much. I still love my ex and I always will. I am just not in love with him any longer. Don't feel bad because you don't love him anymore. Just explain to him that he deserves to be loved by someone that feels the same way. As they say "breaking up is hard to do." Time does heal all wounds but sometimes the scar still reamins.
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