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female
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*ewels
writes: hi i hope someone can understand me i have been married for 14 yrs we have children but the last 7 yrs have been hard he cheated on me but i forgave him he finds it easier to talk to other women than me so thats caused problems in the past.he tells me he loves me all the time but why dont i belive him, i feel i suck same routine day in day out we try to do other things but it dont last always goes back to how it was. i really am not sure if i love him anymore. how can i find out if i do still care for him or do i just carry on so noone gets hurt. please help
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female
reader, .:OnLy-DrEaMiNg:. +, writes (19 June 2006):
Hey thereDo you really forgive him for cheating on you? Maybe you need to tell him how you feel. Obviously you cant carry on how you are because when you say no-ones getting hurt your not including yourself :) You must still care for him though if you have tried to make it last even though the past 7 years have been rough. Maybe trying to get out more together will give you another spark in the relationship. Best of luck though, hope it all works out.
A
female
reader, Lovetolive +, writes (19 June 2006):
You can never read a persons mind. 14 years is a long time but you don't seem to be happy. How can you keep others happy if you are not happy yourself? Life is too short to worry about all these all the time. Live your life. If your husband makes you happy then live with him, but if he doesn't then is there any point. Your children should be your first priority as they are innocent and their love for their parents is true. So divert your mind towards your kids. Keep them happy as they never cheat on parents. If you are independent then you have no problem moving on with your life alone with your kids. Understand that your decision decides your kids future as well. Make a wise decision. Don't rush. What if you leave your husband then later find out that he flirts (which can be by nature) and does not really cheat on you. Do your homework first so that you don't leave any sign of guilt. Take a vacation. Live your life. Dress and look good at all times and get the inner confidence. Be happy. Relax. And if there is love in your and your partners heart for each other, it will blossom itself. If it doesn't then remember that life is too short and we live once, so is it worth wasting your life being worried for someone who does not care?
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A
female
reader, auntie claire +, writes (19 June 2006):
 dear first of all you should never just carry on if your not happy with something.its not uncommon for marrages to feel like routine, boy i feel like that and i'm not married yet.the main thing is just as you pointed out you need to find out if you still love him or not the best way to do that is to stick to those changes you keep making i know its going to be hard for you but how else will you find out.you need to find some new things you can do that you both will enjoy. or you could go drastic and go away on your on for a week to find yourself, that would be the best way to do it by far but many women feel that they just can't i.e no money or not enough confidence to do it.have a think about it and i hope you find your answerskeep me posted and all the best to you xxx
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