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female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend slept with my sister before we dated. I have some trouble forgiving him still. I'm not sure if I can move on from this and forgive him. Am I making this a bigger deal than it is? I haven't been with them in the same room together yet and I fear that it will be akward. I don't know what to do. Please offer any advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2006): And how long ago did he sleep with her before you two dated?
It's possible that he didn't want to tell you - the most probable and obvious reason being that is your sister. Think about it, no matter how much I love my gf, if I had slept with her sister before we dated, would it not be awkward for me to tell that to my gf? Think about what might have gone through his head - "If I told my gf, what would she think/feel? I like her, but what if she stops the entire relationship? What if everything goes wrong and I will never be able to see her again?"
Ultimately, despite what he may or may not have thought before, the current problem is about you. If you do not trust him, then that's that. Obvious solution is to break-up. If you can get pass this insecurity you have as it may not be as one-sided as you may first perceive, then go for it. Try to work on the relationship.
Then again, measure this: is he worth it - what is he about that makes him someone who is desirable in your heart?
A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (30 August 2006):
 I understand what u are saying. I have to say i agree. It appears u just found out?? Why didnt he tell u before both of u started dating??I would be wary of someone who has actually had an intimacy with own my sister.Personally i dont think u are making a big deal out of this and it appears u arent happy with the situation or comfortable dating this guy so why not tell him. I can already see from your posting that if u carry on in this relationship u are going to be distrustful all through and this might hurt your relationship with this guy in the long run and also the relationship u have with your sister as well and it isnt worth it.
Think careful dear and decide what is best to do but my own advise is that u should move on.
Take care dearie.
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