Not sure I can trust him!

A female age 30-35, *arasvati writes:

I'm not sure I can trust my boyfriend. I discovered that, the very night we began dating, he had been calling and messaging his ex-girlfriends, asking them to come over. He told one of them "I'd rather not stop seeing you." Nothing has happened since that day (it's been a year) and he no longer has contacted them. However, I have noticed that in the past, he would message several girls at once, calling them beautiful and asking if they had boyfriends. I have reason to believe he did this while dating other women. If this is something he was willing to do in the past, is it possible he'd do the same with me? I'd like to believe he has grown up since then, but I can't bring myself to trust him completely, especially after he lied to me initially about contacting them. Before I even was aware of all this, he went out of his way to tell me that one of them asked him to go to a movie. Turns out he was the one who asked her to hang out. Why would he lie about something I hadn't even asked about? He's the type to immediately go from relationship to relationship, seemingly to never have a mourning period. We'd dated once before and he quickly went to messaging another girl not two days afterward. He flirted shamelessly in the past and somehow I get the feeling he has/had no sense of respect. Even while we were going on dates, I avoided dating others for his sake because I felt it would be wrong and deceitful. And yet apparently he didn't feel that way. Is this something that he might have overcome? Should I stay with him and give him the benefit of the doubt?

View related questions: ex girlfriend, flirt, his ex, period

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A female reader, kellyO  +, writes (16 July 2013):

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