A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I’ve been with my BF for almost 6 months. He’s a great guy and I really couldn’t ask for more. He treats me well, he respects me and he’s planning his future with me.I however often get confused. When we first started going out I left him for someone else. We weren’t a couple at that time (we only had 3 dates). This other guy lead me on and dumped me within a few weeks. I got back in touch with my now BF and we started seeing each other again. We get along so well, hours with him seem like minutes and I’ve never been so comfortable with anyone before.But I often find myself questioning how I feel. My BF has a friend who I find absolutely gorgeous. I feel so guilty for even thinking about this. Every time we meet up with this friend of his I start to doubt my relationship with my BF. I always think, I wish I could have this other guy (he’s engaged btw).I really don’t know what to do…I am so confused. I can’t imagine leaving my boyfriend but yet I am so scared that I don’t feel as strongly about him as he feels about me.My whole adult life I’ve chased guys who didn’t want me. I’ve always wanted that guy who was unattainable. I’m never happy with what I can have…I always want what I can’t have.I am scared to stay with my BF because I just don’t know where I want the relationship to go…but I am also scared of leaving him to go off and chase guys who don’t want me. I feel like I just can’t be happy either way.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (27 January 2010):
 I read a psychological article about how females choose masculine types to make sure they have good genes, and how we Mr. Nice to nurture ourselves emotionally. It is a dilemma and it is no surprise to see how so many young girls get impregnated by jocks, got hurt, and then go back to Mr. Nice wondering what's wrong with women. No advice here, just an attempt to explain why you, and a lot of women, are feeling this way. I can agree with the article and it's fair to say the stereotype is true. You are at your prime age and your body is just telling you which guys to look out for if you want a healthy, strong baby. Your heart is telling you you need a nurturing boyfriend.
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