A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm just out of a 10 year relationship and enjoying time sorting out stuff for myself and building a new life of my own, not ready for a relationship for a good while with anybody, but that doesn't stop me being attracted to guys. So there's 1 in particular, and I think there's a mutual attraction, but we have only just met. Anyway the other day he kept on hanging around me as I was chatting to my friend, maybe it was in my mind or I was hoping but I wondered if he was waiting to chat to me...but the conversation with my friend went on for a while so this guy went.Anyway, as I said I don't want a relationship, but I do fancy this guy. I'm just wondering what would be best 'if' he did ask me out for a drink or whatever. I would like to go but I want it to be casual. In the recent past I had a friend with benefits which suited us both so I'd be happy with that BUT I'm not sure if this guy is more boyfriend material not fwb , from what comes across from him. I know I'm jumping ahead here but I'm just thinking ahead...but if we were to become fwb would it ruin chances of being bf/gf later on? So in that case is it best to just go out as friends but maybe be a bit flirty with him to show interest? Also the other day we were chatting about work and I said I haven't got a day off for a few weeks and he said "so you're even working on valentines day?"... I just said yes...do you guys think that hes trying gauge to see if I have a date? I didn't think at the time.I'm so out of practice with dating/and all that I don't really know what or when is the right time to say I'm not wanting a relationship or even if I have to say that. Advice!?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2014): If you've seen the movie, Friends with Benefits, you'll know that it's not as uncomplicated as it sounds. There is always the possibility of either one falling for the other or ruining the chance to be something else later on. I'd personally just wait. If this guy asks you out just say, "I'm not ready for a relationship yet so I don't think it's fair on either of us to date at this time, but when I'm ready I'd be thrilled to go out with you." Or something along those lines.
Or, there is the option to go out with him as friends, but be aware there is the possibility it may end up as a rebound relationship.
A
male
reader, Gauntlet  +, writes (7 February 2014):
 When I read "I'm so out of practice with dating" after you wrote "In the recent past I had a friend with benefits which suited us both".
An easy girl (having sex with a sex-friend who consequently is not even a simple boyfriend, excuse-me but it's being "easy", and it's having some kind of experience whatever one can say) looking for a casual relationship asking for advices before Valentine Day like a teenager ?
By Jove, don't make me laugh, it's too soon in the morning !
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