A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, this is mainly for parents to help me out here,I'm a 16 year old girl, and I was at a concert one night, and me and my friends booked a hotel room for after it and we meet some people, I ended up having sex with one of them and this was my first time. Since then when I have been arguing with my mum, she says "I wish I didn't know some things I know about you, and to think I used to be proud of you"If you found out your child lost her virginity to a stranger what would you say?p.s this is not like me, I'm usually the shy one and I don't know what came over me this night, I'm not proud of what I did that night and I feel terrible about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2009): I know how you feel.
I wasn't proud the way i lost my virginity in fact it made me feel down for weeks and that caused arguments between my mum and i. Mums pick up if your acting strange.
I had sex with my boyfriend and his mum caught us (this wasn't how i lost my virginity) and she went mental. She shouted more at me than she did her son.. probs cos i was underage and he wasn't..
The thing is you just need to find a way to laugh at it and move on and live with it. When you find someone you really love and have sex that means something, the way you lost your viginity won't matter.
xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the coments :)
No, my mum dose not know about it yet, well i dont know if she dose, but if she is dispointed at things i have done in the past in not sure she would handle this well.
I have also been to my local clinic and been tested for STD's and they came back ok.
Thanks for all your help, i think i shall leave it some time before i tell my mum, as yous say she dosn't need to know everything.
x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): well you may regret it now but it was a mistake everyone makes them dont regret them just carry on anf forget about it. as for your mum being annoyed with you just tell her that you made a bad mistake you are very sorry and we all make them. i am 13 and i think i have phimosis i dont know what to do soon i am going to tell my mum to take me to a doctor to get it sorted hopefully i wont make a full out my self. good luck to me and you:) thanks and hoped it helps
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A
female
reader, Susan Walsh  +, writes (4 June 2009):
Many young women lose their virginity in a way they do not feel good about. It's OK, what's important is that you learned something about yourself from that experience. In the future, you can make different choices. I encourage you to think about when you want to have sex and with whom. This is not a good decision to make impulsively, especially when drinking. And whatever you decide, use a condom!
Although your mom sounds disappointed and angry right now, I think it's awesome that you felt you could tell her. I'm a mom who blogs about this stuff, and I wish more of my readers had that connection with their mothers. Keep talking. She loves you and wants the best for you.
www.HookingUpSmart.com
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): Don't feel terrible. So it was a mistake, okay? Everyone makes them. The only regrets you should have over something you acknowledge as a mistake should be if you don't learn from that mistake...but I think you have. Some women are fine with casual sex but most prefer some sort of emotional attachment. Now that you know you are one of the latter, you can act accordingly and wait until you have built a relationship with a guy before having sex again.As for your mother, I don't think she needs to know if she is only going to be hurtful and judgmental. Just make sure you go on your own time to a women's clinic and take a pregnancy test and an STD test. Good luck :)
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A
male
reader, greg290352 +, writes (3 June 2009):
 I assume you told your mum about what happened? Certainly I would be far more understanding to my daughter but then mothers and daughters can be a tricky combination. A lot of conflicting emotions involved.
These things happen, people make mistakes and constantly putting you down is not constructive. Do you have any older female relative you can confide in who could talk to your mum?
Maybe one consolation is that for the majority of people losing their virginity is often not the special event they would like it to be. Try not to be too hard on yourself - good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): I probably wouldn't *say* anything. But I'd certainly be disappointed.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): I'm only 3 years older than you, but I am a parent. And if she felt badly about it and was not feeling proud and was having regrets, then my reaction toward her would be comfort and encouragement and a hope that she has learned something and knows exactly the sort of person she should not be not. That she should take something from it and be stronger next time. And i would take her to get tested for STD, etc.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): I wouldnt say much as it isnt my life its yours
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