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female
,
anonymous
writes: Me and my bf have been apart from nearly 3 months now and i still miss him more than ever and i hate it, he's moved on and he tells me this all the time how doesnt love me or how he never did and it breaks my heart.I just wish i could move on i dont wanna be stuck in the past. I have a new bf now who is really nice and i like being with him but i'd give anything to get back with my ex.Unfortunately we hang around with the same group of people and now he's getting with one of my mates and everytime i'm around them i feel so jealous and angry cause i want what i cant have.He thinks that i have moved on and there is no way i can tell him how i feel.He's moved on so why can't i???
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female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (10 July 2006):
 Men like the thrill of the chase. However you should run - and fast! He sounds like an absolute louse. No-one should just dump someone in such an unfeeling manner, for no good reason, and then rub salt in the wound by going with her friend right under her nose!! Count your blessings that you are now free to give your love to someone who deserves you . The ex surely does'nt deserve all the attention you have been lavishing on him, as he is acting like a total prat with no feelings or regard for anyone else. Does your 'friend' know how he has treated you? It may well happen to her too. How can she stand by and let him treat you like this?? It's only when you stand back and look at the situation, when you can see what is going on. If your new guy is really nice, tell him how you are feeling at the moment and say that you realise it is'nt fair, but you can't help your feelings and you need time to get over this as he deserves better than to be second best. Mix with a different crowd and do not allow your heart to rule your head. Difficult call, I know, but you have to do what is best for YOU, and prove that you are strong enough to get on without your ex. It will get easier in time. But if ever the ex comes crawling back, you know the kind of treatment you can expect, and you will have only yourself to blame if you accept him back. Your new guy seems by far the better option, so heal your heart then give him a chance. Good luck chick, I know it hurts like hell, but be strong..it will pass
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2006): This is the problem when you have mutual friends and you break up! Very often one person has to choose to leave that group of friends, if only for a while until you have sorted out your feelings.
pica is right - the only way you can really move on from this is to not see him AT ALL. Whilst you still have feelings for him, you will never be able to move on because everything you do see him, the feelings will come back.
Make a clean break, make sure you do not see him, or bump in to him. Avoid the places you know he will be at, and instead stick with the individual friends that you are more close to, and who will be there for you.
It's very unfair on your new boyfriend for you to have these feelings. Ideally, you should not get in to another relationship until you have dealt with the emotional baggage from your previous relationship. Your boyfriend deserves more than that. Make sure you do not see your ex, and instead concentrate on your new boyfriend - if feelings for him develop, you will get over your ex probably much easier.
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (9 July 2006):
 I agree with Pica. Don't spend time around him and the crowd. Make them and him wonder what you are doing and he will ask you himself what is going on. You don't need that kind of distraction when you are seeing someone else. As for the other guy, I think you moved on to fast. You don't really care for him like that. He is a rebound guy or a guy that you picked up thinking it would stop the hurt. Would you want someone to feel like you feel now? Don't lead him on. Take time for yourself. Never mind what your ex is doing as it is not your business anymore. Tell the other guy that all you can give him is friendship and thats it for now. Take time and sort out your feelings. Give yourself time to heal. Than you can approach your new life with a different attitude. In the meantime don't go around your ex and don't call him. If he never cared as he says than he won't bother calling you and if he does and is lying about the whole thing he will call you. It hurts like hell but trust me it works. Either way you have given yourself time to heal and be able to move on the right way.
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A
female
reader, pica +, writes (9 July 2006):
I'd guess it would be pretty hard to move on from someone you still see constantly and who tells you he never liked you anyway ... You need to spend less - in fact, zero - time around him. There's a new guy - so spend time with him, away from the crowd. Perhaps give him more of a chance, he may have picked up that you'd dump him at the slightest chance with your ex... Anyway, still keeping company with your ex sounds like a very bad idea - and he doesn't sound very nice so no loss overall even though it hurts. Make your life bigger, get out, do other stuff, don't let your ex keep making you feel bad about yourself. At the same time don't lead on a new guy just to make yourself feel better - he's human too.
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