A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating a guy i work with for almost a year, we both have 2 jobs and the time we spend together is mostly late at night when he comes over to sleep. I've been bothered for a while about him having a lot of female co-workers numbers and the list keeps growing. He has also switched his bank to one where a woman we work with works also. I don't think it is appropriate to be doing that if you are in a relationship. When i ask him about something, he goes around it and gives a very vague answer. He had left his email opened one night and i couldnt resist to check it. I was bothered he had messaged a 16yr old girl we work work with a few times considering his is 29. They were teasing emails but again i didnt find that appropriate. It makes me feel unsecure with he and i knowing thats going on and not knowing for sure what else could be going on. Because of this insecurity, i began to talk to my ex and have even spent time with him. My ex still loves me and wants to be with me still. He isnt responsible and thats why i ended it with him. I have a stronger attraction to my ex and feel more comfortable with him than i do with the man im in a relationship with. I've got my ex holding on while i'm trying to figure this guys intentions with me.I am afraid to break it off with my guy because i dont want to face him and deal with the anxiety at work. I'm trying to switch jobs but it is not easy and i cant quit because i need to money. I'm going crazy in this situation. Its wrong and i know something bad is going to happen if i keep it this way. Which way do i need to go?
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (28 August 2009):
I'm sorry, but you are being very selfish. Don't play with your ex's emotions just because you aren't secure enough with yourself to be alone. You broke up with him because he wasn't responsible, is he any different now? Probably not.
As for your current boyfriend, who cares if you two work together? There's no rule that you can't break up with him and not work together. I'm sure it will be awkward at first, but if you don't want to be with him, then end it! In the meantime look for a job, even if you two aren't together. For all you know after the breakup he'll be the one that finds a new job elsewhere and you can quit looking.
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (28 August 2009):
 Hi,
well for a start, the only person I feel any sympathy for is your ex. He is being used by you as a backup - which you seemingly feel no guilt or remorse about.
Both you and your boyfriend are of the same kind, he's a player for sure ( the late night texts to a 16 girl sow that one up )but you are playing the same game as your him. I suggest you stay with your current boyfriend as you deserve each other, give your ex a break he probably wants a serious relationship - something that seems beyond you.
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