A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I've been in a relationship now for almost two and a half years. Its a long distance relationship in that my boyfriend lives four hours away and so we meet on weekends or at worst every second weekend. Okay my problem is that there is no sex in our relationship now before this relationship i never really gave it much thought and i'm slightly embarrassed at myself for sending this post but I don't know what to do. Like this weekend we spent the whole weekend together and it was fine in everyway except there was nothing sexy wise only cuddles and hugs until the very last day when i was due to leave and then it was just fooling around nothing more. I've tried to say it more than once but i don't want to hurt his feelings either. I try to encourage him (from time to time now like - NOT ALL THE TIME DON'T BE THINKING I'M A MANIAC OR ANYTHING - and i do so by wearing nice lingerie, kissing him and tickling him and giving him massages and hand jobs but we never do anything except "foreplay". Plus I don't always want to be the one initiating things it would be nice if he did it from time to time too. Is this normal or am i over reacting? Now i was apprehensive at the start, two years ago, cos i had only had one sexual partner and i had said that to him and that was fine but now there is nothing. . even to get a kiss from him feels like there is no feeling behind it. Now i know sex is not the be all and end all of a relationship before you tell me that so please don't. I've started thinking about finishing with my boyfriend tho cos we don't seem to click when it comes to the bedroom except for foreplay as i said. We've never gone all the way. Now I'm the big 30 and I think its healthy to have some sex in a relationship from time to time, thats ok isn't it??? I 'll be honest its really getting to me. Please let me know what you think i should do. Cheers.
View related questions:
foreplay, hand-job, kissing, long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCan anyone give me some advice please??? Do i talk to him about it? Do i ask him about LazyGuys theory that he might be getting it during the week? thats just put thoughts in my head thanks alot Lazy Guy
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (8 June 2010):
 You wear lingerie, you kiss him, you tickle him, you massage him, you give him handjobs...
What does he do?
Unless you are skipping something it does seem he makes absolutely no attempt at any intimacy.
You say you are not desperate for sex. Fine, but what is his view on it? There are people with very low sex drives.
How much sex goes on in a relationship is up to the couple. But if there is a big miss-match, then it can be hard to overcome. To be blunt, when you get busy, how much work is it? Since you only meet on weekends, does he act like a guy who hasn't had any all week and is about to explode.
It could be low sex-drive, gay, he doesn't find you attractive or performance issues. Virgin?
Hard to say. But there is definitely an issue and most likely with him.
...............................
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (8 June 2010):
 OK. Send me his e.mail address and I'll send him an e.mail from someone he doesn't know in China and tell him that he bloody well better get his act together.
...............................
|
