A ,
anonymous
writes: My bf and I have been together for 4 yrs. For about a year now we hardly have sex anymore and for the past 6 months nothing. He says he doesn't feel sexual anymore but I found that he watches porn. I confronted him on this but he say he doesn't look at stuff like that. If I want to talk to him he gets upset and it always turn out in a big argument with him wanting to break up. I also found that he is mailing a girl that we met on holiday, telling her about our problem. What must I do and what does all this mean?nina
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, raebeauty, writes (5 March 2005): Your boyfriend has obviously got a lot on his mind and may be unable to perform due to excessive masturbation. Instead of confronting him and getting into an arguement try to encourage him to live out his fantasies with you.As for this girl he is emailing, you must try to speak to him about it without being confrontational. I think that if he is just emailing he will not be defensive; otherwise I advise you to ask him to to speak to you about the issues and see what can be resolved together.However you may just have to face up to the truth that your boyfriend has gone of of you and is into this other girl, if that's the case cut your losses, for these things happen. Sorry
A reader, lisa, writes (4 March 2005): It may well be he has a sexual problem within himself. And as for watching the porn, most men watch these films to try and aid their sexual experiences. He may well be feeling inadequate which is why he is turning things around to cause a big argument. This female he is emailing, may well be just lending an ear, someone he can talk his probelms to. If it is just emailing that he is doing, I am sure it is harmless. If you know her email address, why not contact her and tell her you are concerned about your boyfriend and is he confiding in her rather than embarrassing himself in front of you. Either way, maybe you should seek a relationship councellor if he is willing. Good luck, let me know how you get on.
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