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anonymous
writes: I've been in a relationship for 3 years and we have a child. I was really keen for us to get married, we talked about it but he didn't feel ready and now I feel colder towards him. My partner is lovely but there's no excitement, romance or adventure any more. I don't really fancy him as much and I feel really hurt that he isn't sure about me enough to get married - even though we have a kid together! Now if he'd ask me I'm not sure I'd say yes. I think I've gone off the boil :-[If we ever go out or doing anything different it's because I instigate it. I know life changes a bit when you have a kid but we're both earning and can afford a babysitter or a nice holiday occasionally. He doesn't seem to think of anything other than his work and his computer games. I need some fun!!I don't feel we're best friends any more like we used to be. He still makes me laugh and we still get on, but he doesn't want to chat any more or spend time together. He just talks to his mates on the phone any chance he gets.We recently moved to a new area where we don't know anyone. I am keen to get out and about with him and meet new people together but he seems happy for me to make my own friends and isn't interested in joining in.I keep wondering if in the future there will be someone else who is 'the one'. I thought it was him, but surely there must be more to life than this - or have I just been watching too many romantic films...
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2005): Lots of us men, once we get our feet under the table, tend to forget what it is to be charming and interesting to our partners. It's as if the thrill of the chase has gone. I found out the hard way by losing not one but two wonderful partners. Now if a stalemate has occured I would advise you not to do the same and be constantly waiting for him to start something. Make your own friends, be interesting in your own right and things will sort themselves out either way. Most of all remember, the only person who can make you happy is you.
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