A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i'm 20 years old and in all these 20 years i haven't found a single person whom i would like, either on physical level or personality level... i mean, i can appreciate someone's looks, be it a girl or a guy. i usually find many people visually pleasing, but that doesn't make them attractive to me. i don't get attached to people (but when i do, i'm extremely loyal and get hurt easily) which might be caused by the fact that i was bullied almost half of my life in school but i never got attached easily before the bullying started, so i don't think that's the cause. so either way, i don't find anyone attractive, even if i get to know them better. I always thought i might find someone who would make me feel different, but that doesn't happen. also, i'm often complimented about the way i look, but no one ever tried to approach me (or i'm just oblivious lol... but i don't think so). i find all this kinda disturbing, especially when all my friends have boyfriends or are engaged already... i'd like to note that i do have a sex drive and i think it's really big compared to my friends who mostly just don't get aroused as easily as i do. i also long for a romantic relationship with someone but that won't work since when i don't find anyone attractive i can't even start to imagine how would i feel about making a relationship against myself.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2009): OP here, @LazyGuy, i don't have any trouble with figuring out other people's intentions. actually most of the time it's the other way around, it's like i'm mind reading them, i know what they'll do next and why, what they'll say, how they feel. i think i might be very empathetic and it's very easy for me to walk in someone else's shoes so many people in my entire life (and i mean a lot!) asked me for advice on a daily basis! even though we weren't even close, sometimes they were people with whom i didn't have a single conversation until then. so i don't think that's the problem.
as for my relationships i think i have normal ones with my parents and family, though i don't have any friends.
i never wished a certain person would approach me or something... and i think all people are equal to me, be it male or female, i think i relate to them on the same level.
i wrote "no one is attractive to me" and not "i don't find any guy attractive" because i've considered that i might be gay. but i don't think i am.
maybe it's relevant (or not) i'm suffering from bi-polar affective disorder.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (26 November 2009):
 Do you have trouble relating to people?
It almost sounds like you have a mild form of autism, and no that does not mean you are a retard. Many "nerds" are functional autistics, if that is the right English term for it.
When you are with a person do you have trouble figuring out what there intentions are, what they are thinking?
It could also be simpler, you might have been hurt (or seen someone be hurt) and be afraid to have it happen again.
and lastly, you could just be a late bloomer. Not everyone is the romantic type. No, longing for romance is NOT the same thing.
There is something going on and it might be "serious" as in that it is not simply fixable by being a bit more open or something like that, but there could be so many underlying causes and even a combination of causes. A very mild form of autism coupled with a bad experience might easily explain it. Do note that I am just guessing here since you don't actually tell us anything about the relationships you do have. Parents, family, friends.
Nobody ever approached you, but there has also never been anyone you approached or who you wished you would approach?
What do you imagine your perfect partner to be like. Might you perfect partner be female instead of male? Has something happened in your past? Do you have trouble relating to people in general? To males? To females?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2009): It's a numbers game. Go out and meet more people. There's bound to meet someone that will start the butterflies fluttering.
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