A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have had a best guy friend for over 14 years now, we have been friends since I was in Kindergarten and I am now going to be a Junior in college. For every christmas, valentines day, or birthday he would always buy me such beautiful gifts...i.e. sterling silver bracelet saying Friend, and engraved photo album with a picture of us engraved saying our names and Best Friends, etc. I have dated many guys as he has dated many girls, but I have never found a guy that I really connect with and therefore I have never had an all the way intimate relationship, and neither has he ( I found that out through the grapevine that he hasn't found the right one yet). I feel like I keep on comparing all the guys I date to him, and no one compares to him. I don't know whether or not to talk to him about this, I know my parents have always gave me crap about how we are going to get married one day and all that stuff. I don't want to ruin our friendship that we have by making it awkward, or being told that he doesn't feel the same, that he just sees me as a "good friend". Should I risk it and talk to him, or let this always be my secret?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2010): Tell him how you feel! The way you describe the relationship makes me bet that he feels the same way!
And if not, I don't think it has to ruin the friendship. You too are obviously very close and both want one thing, the other one to be happy.
Good luck, don't have any regrets, tell him now!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes. I do think that I actually love him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2010): Do you love him though? Sounds like you feel like he's the best person for you, but you don't mention love. That's not to say that you don't, maybe you just didn't mention it.There's definitely a need to weigh your love for him as more than a friend and your friendship because if you confess and he doesn't feel the same way, or if the feeling's mutual but it doesn't work out in the end, yes, your relationship is forever changed.I don't want to tell you which way to go because of that. But the one thing I will point out is...if you truly love him and think this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and this is someone you can truly be happy with (and you aren't just settling because you haven't found someone to compare to him) then if you decide NOT to say anythng, would preserving the friendship have been worth the fact that you see him with someone else married and happy? Will you still be able to be his true friend as he continues to date and be with other women? And will it be worth it to never know what might have happened if you had confessed?You are the best judge of your situation, gauge how he might feel towards you, do you think he might like you back? You might want to share reasons why you think he might or might not. And again weigh the consequences and figure out if you can be a true friend to him while he's with other women or whether your love for him is so great that it's worth risking the friendship. Follow your heart and have no regrets! Good luck!
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