A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hello, i cant remember if i've asked this question before but i need some advice. I've been married for 6 months and have a 18month old baby boy. Since around September last year we have had money issues, to the point where we cant afford food or electricity. we are having to make 2weeks food last 4weeks or more. We have done a day without electricity.Im a full time mom and my dh works part time. He did work full time but due to issues at work which i do not want to go in to so we are on benefits since march-ish last year. It works out we are getting the same amount of money as we did when he was working full time (he is looking for another job btw)Anyway, he deals with the bills/money as he gets all the money and benefits. Only thing i get is child benefit, which i am using to buy my son all the things he needs (cot, sterilizer, toys, clothes, bedding, bottles) aswell as stuff for the house (bookcases, tables, paint, desks, wardrobes, sofa etc) not all in one go, spread out over 18months, my bank is always empty.My dh has always been a gambler from what iv been told from his sister but iv never seen him gamble but he promised he had stopped it. He used to work in a casino with his friend ste*. I found out around january time when most of our money problems come to a head that he had spent over £200 which is i think $324 on a game on his ipod, the games where you can buy in-game purchases like coins or something. Obviously i was furious. He promised me he would stop.A few months ago i fixed our computer which had been broken for around a year, which is in the hall way out the way of my son. my dh has downloaded a poker site on to the computer but its not on the desktop or task bar, so im guessing he's hiding it. He got a email saying he had deposited £10 to it, a few hours later he deleted the message thinking i hadnt of seen it. iv read facebook convo's from ste and my dh discussing poker and it seems ste is kind of pushing dh to do it. I have a major problem with ste, when we was going though the main money problems in january dh kept bitching about me to him, that i was having ago at him for not having any money or food (can you blame me?) and ste told him to kick me out, says i dont pay for anything or do anything in the house so i should basicly f**k off, trying to get dh to kick me out, with my son!! i went mental and had ago at him, i havent spoke to him since, i told him to stay out of my life. Ste has never been in a serious relationship, hes a player, how can he give a married man advice?my dh is always going upstairs to phone people which i find weird, i listened into one of his conversations to his grandma last month and he said to her he cant afford rent because council have taken £250 out his bank for council tax. I guess he hadnt paid it. Im guessing he didnt pay full rent last month, i dont know if hes paid it off or not, he never talks to me about money. Even when i ask him to discuss it he says he will later but never does. The landlord came round a few times, wanting to come in, but dh has made excuses telling him i just got out shower or something so he spoke to him outside, obviously so i didnt hear.Dh has been very distant from me lately, every day i ask him whats up, tell him he seems distant and i feel unloved, but he denies it. How can i help him if he wont let me in? How can i sort problems if he wont talk to me? My dh is a good liar and manipulater, im always one step ahead of him so i know things he thinks i dont. I havent told him i know because it'll end up in a argument and he'll make me feel bad about myself, like he always does, im just fed up of the arguments and made to feel crap or its my fault somehow. Im always worried incase we get kicked out for not paying rent, or my son will starve. I didnt eat for 3-4days in january just so my boy could eat :( we have food at the moment but as iv said rent wasnt paid in full last month.Its starting to get me down now. please help!
View related questions:
at work, facebook, gambling, liar, married man, money, player, unloved Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2011): You need to talk to him. Ask him what is up? Tell him you don't have money to be blowing on things that are not essentials. The only thing here is communication and if he has a problem he needs to seek some counseling. There are ways to get free counseling for things like that.
|
