A
female
age
30-35,
*ilac1991
writes:My boyfriend gets upset/frustrated with me when I don't give him a hug or cuddles because he wants me to show him some love. I'm not like him because I like my space and I don't really like cuddles all of the time. It's not the case at all that I don't give him cuddles or show him love because I do frequently, but I get annoyed and want to do that even less when he gets upset with me for it. He'll start getting frustrated that I won't cuddle him and he will make comments and then lie that he's not or he'll mutter under his breath after I say not right now something like 'of course why would you'I really struggle getting through to him that he's not being fair when he gets in one of these moods when I don't want a cuddle. It's not like i never show him love either, i feel like no matter how much I show him the moment I don't it's like everything else I do isn't good enough. He acts like me not giving him what he wants in those situations is him not getting what he wants, and then compares it to me and how I get everything I want and he will buy me little things, but he has to suffer without when I won't cuddle him. I get so so aggravated with him because I cannot get through to him about it not being a comparison and that it simply isn't fair. He will regularly use against me the fact that I get what I want, even though we have probably spent an equal amount of money on each other! It's such a stupid argument that causes problems on a weekly basis (among many other insecurities of his). This question is a result of this mornings argument because I wouldn't cuddle him the moment I woke up, instead I got out of bed to make us both a cup of tea. I said I would make tea then get back into bed and then cuddle, but his attitude and overall mood since we woke up made me not in the mood to cuddle anymore. I still made him tea and got back into bed with him, but he kept making comments and acting like I was being unfair for not showing him love?!What more can I do?!
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female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (20 October 2015):
It would be a good idea to sit down and have an indept chat with your man and tell him just how you feel and that you need space.Some people need more love than others.When you dont give him a hug he feels rejected and hurt-so just explain that you do care for me-but unlike him you need space-but that does Not mean you dont love him.Best wishes NORA B.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (19 October 2015):
 5 Languages of love - read it and suggest HE reads it too.
That way you can BOTH define how you like to GIVE and receive love.
I'm NOT a big hugger. I hug my children, I hug my husband and THAT is about it. I don't hug acquaintances or family (hubby's family since we live near them - my "own" side I probably would). I just don't. I, like you, like my personal space.
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/couples/
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