A
female
age
30-35,
*eezalynn
writes:Well im 17 and me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 4 years. We just had a baby 3 months ago, well my boyfriend will never stay home, he always leaves with his friend and dont come home till 1 or 2 in the morning sometimes later. He says he stays out cause all I do is bitch at him. All I want is some attention from him and for him to act like he loves me. And i want him to be home more with our son. He does watch him while i go to school, but as soon as i get home he leaves. Hes 19 years old and does not have a job. He says im the reason our relationship is bad all i want is for us to have a normal family together. Im so unhappy in my relationship. I just want a change. What could i say or do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): Mmm. (I'm the first poster, by the way). I don't think a child is a burden, for any age, even if it is a lot of hard work. Many of the best things are hard work! The upside of this is, you have a baby :) This is wonderful, you know. Congratulations, and very best of luck. I like the suggestion of a school counsellor, and agree it would be good for your boyfriend's self esteem to get a job, even if it is a part time evening job. In the meantime, don't worry so much, and enjoy your beautiful baby. X
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): Sweetie, this must be so hard on you. School and a young baby! At least your boyfriend looks after him when you're away. That's a good sign - he's accepting the responsibility of being a father. And I expect he loves his child?Have you tried writing down what you both need and want? If he looks after your child all day I can see he would want/need to get out, but does he have to every night? Can you get him to make time for the two of you, even a couple of nights a week? I can see that being a new dad is a shock and he might just be scared or adjusting, but what you are offering is love and domesticity, which are just as important as going out with mates. It is not fair to blame you. And it would be much better if you could both understand each other and make time for talking.Otherwise, you don't have to put up with this, if he insists on carrying on the same. If he does, it's his bad - at the moment he's got a loving partner (wanting to spend more time with someone is loving, not nagging) child, home and friends. Would he really be happy with just his friends?
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