A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a working professional, returning to uni in October and as my previous flatmates were moving city I found a room for the summer. Basically there are three international students who usually live in this flat but two of them went back to their home countries for the holidays so they're subletting out their rooms till then.I'm sharing with the remaining student, who is a PhD student, we get on pretty well but she's out from morning till evening all day. The problem... is that the other flatmate (who they found after they found me, so I didn't know whom it was going to be) has taken advantage of this and the fact she's pretty laidback, and is causing a lot of trouble.I work flexible hours but nothing crazy like night shifts, but I am sometimes home during the day and he has his friends round ALL the time despite having a small single room. I heard him coming home two mornings to say hi to a girl (his girlfriend?) who from what I heard was staying in the room overnight in his place!! He also leaves the front door unlocked so his pals can get in and out, and I'm not happy with his friends coming and going constantly during the day and talking loudly and slamming the doors (Conveniently, they rarely come when the other flatmate is in!). They already seem to treat the place as their own. He also has no consideration for noise, he blasts music sometimes during the morning and last night he was singing and playing video games from 11pm till 1am. The flat was advertised as a quiet place with mature flatmates which was why I rented it! But the remaining flatmate is one of those quiet passive international student types who maybe isn't going to put her foot down on this. I don't have the landlord's contact details because I'm subletting, though I've heard he's strict he hasn't even done a Right to rent check on us.I don't even know what he does, if he's a student on summer holiday with no sense of respect for others or just an unemployed layabout, I'm planning to ask the other flatmate. But he rarely goes out for more than about an hour and basically hangs around at home (often in his boxers) ALL day, often playing music, spending ages in the bathroom, or washing his clothes, and inviting all his friends round. Obviously there is nothing wrong with having friends round or playing music sometimes, but he already clearly has no idea how to behave around flat mates and is taking advantage of international students renting out cheap rooms in a good location.Should I just bring this up with the other flatmate? Like I said she is pretty laidback but I havent even been here that long and this is already pissing me off. Or should I speak to him?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (1 July 2017):
 Both you and the other girl should speak to this guy and ask him to keep it down. Ideally the other girl should put in a word with the landlord but my guess is that she won't.
I guess that leaves you with two options. Either you hope that this guy listens to you and good sense prevails on him or you look for another place, preferably one that you don't have to share with others. Sharing a living space invariably comes with its own set of problems.
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (1 July 2017):
 Yes of course talk to your other flatmate. And to the one making the noise. You should also be prepared to leave if it doesn't improve.
Just tell the noisy one it isn't working out and he has a month to find somewhere else.
Sharing a flat has to have the right mix or it doesn't work.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2017): Maybe the best thing you can do is rent a small studio apt. by yourself.Even if you get this flatmate to leave who knows what you can end up with.Maybe someone who is worse.When you have your own space you would not have to worry about strangers coming and going out of your flat all the time.I would really hate that part because an unlocked door and all these people you do not know you might just get robbed or attacked or not ever get enough sleep.Move out get your own space life will be better.
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