A
female
age
41-50,
*unshine333
writes:Im so Confused!Nearly 2 years ago my ex of 8 years walked out on me and our son of then aged 5 with no warning.(My world just feel apart) We never argued and I thought we was really happy-even trying for our 2nd child.I just dont know what went wrong. He came home from work one night and said he was leaving. I tryed everythink in my power to stop him but he left.3 months after he met a girls 10 years younger than him and they moved in together 3 months later.The problem is we still get on so well, He is there for me and his son financially and a good friend and father but I dont really know what happened in our relationship? just that he said he did love me anymore and was unhappy. What I dont understand is we neverspoke of any of this while we was together. He told me he loved me everyday even 24h before he walked.I would give anything for us to get get back as a family and when were together is just like old times.I cant talk to him about this, but its kiling me inside. I just wish I new what i did wrong and why he wasnt prepared to talk about it or even try for our relationship.Its nearly 2 years now, his moved on so why cant I???
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female
reader, mizzbrannon  +, writes (28 January 2008):
i think you need to talk to him about it because if you do it will be easier to move on because then you will have closure.just be nice to him but dont talk to him as a friend anymore because as long as you talk to him as a friend you will still be holding on to what you had. an maybe if you do that he may realize wat his missing out on
A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (27 January 2008):
 Sometimes men just move on for no reason whatsover and they will give you no notice and no reason. They seem to say to you at a later date that they were 'not happy' but this is never mentioned at the time when they are still with you This has also happened to me. All I can say is be nice when he comes round, be accommodating with your child, make an effort with your appearance and above all behave happy and in a well balanced way when you see him. Never ever refer to your relationship , just smile and make out that you are having a good time. In time he will realise what he has given up and he will come back to you. Give it a it more time, no texts, no late noght drunken calls or anything like that. Portray a calm dignified image and he will come back. Very importantly never refer to your relationship when you chat and don't ask him in for tea / coffee etc or what he is doing later , just say see you and close the door. It will get him wondering and you will seem aloof and attractive again. It does work!!
All the best, chin up, it will work.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): You can't move on because you're still hurting and hoping of a chance of a reconcilliation. The fact that he sees your child on a regular basis means that you still have contact with him and get to see him. If you had been without children then it would've been easier as you could sever all ties with him, not have to see him and would have probably found someone else by now. It's always really hard to be the one left behind especially as you are the one holding the baby and I imagine it's difficult to get out and socialise as much as you would like to. Christmas time and New Year is always a sad time if you've had to deal with a break up and you're probably focusing on the why's and if only's. Having been a single parent myself for ten years, my advice would be to get out there, join classes, socialise with your friends and try and meet new people. Try and be happy and approachable and with any luck this time next year you will be with someone new. You never know when your ex sees you're independent and carving out a new life for yourself he may renew his interest in you. Please don't be sad, life is too short, just get out there and try and have as much fun as you can. Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (27 January 2008):
 It is not your fault. Probably he has changed and wanted out and abandoned you.
Just be nice to him when he comes back and he will find that he will miss the familiar home atmosphere and decide to come back to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): You haven't moved on because you don't know why he left or what you did wrong. It's hard to move on when they do not elabirate on what went wrong and why he was unhappy.
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