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anonymous
writes: I am concerned. I'm 21 and have never been in a relationship before. I am unsure how to meet anyone, and I am worried that I am unusual. I have girl and guy friends and I do have several interests but I don't know if I'm good looking or interesting enough for the opposite sex. Is it really unusual to be in this position at my age? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, Brian, writes (14 March 2005): I didn't have any real relationships until I was 24 or 25, so it's not really that unusual. As you get older, it gets easier to be in a meaningful relationship, although it can be more difficult to meet new people as you become set in your ways of life.One thing that you may need to realize is that there may be many girls that are interested in you that you just aren't noticing. At 21, you are probably still looking to meet that ideal woman, and fall madly in love and live happily ever after. If anyone would have given me advice, it would be that that rarely ever happens. Looking back, there had been several girls that were interested in me, but that I had ignored for any number of reasons. Now that I'm past 30, I look back and realize that many of those could have been great relationships that I had passed on.The other thing to consider is that you most likely won't be perfect at your first few relationships. You may unintentionally screw things up royally. If you don't have practice under your belt, when that perfect girl comes into your life, you may blow it. Trust me on that one. I know from experience!Don't worry about your looks. That doesn't have a lot to do with a meaningful relationship. It's more important to be confident in who you are. If you aren't confident about who you are, you will come off that way, and odds are you won't find a relationship. If you are confident, things will just fall into place!
A reader, Tony, writes (10 March 2005): Im 23, yes 23 and I also have never been in a relationship. Yes sometimes it sucks and I also wonder sometimes if Im unusual like you do. Sorry bout this but I was kinda happy when I saw your question, it made me not feel quite so unusual. I guess i don't really have an answer for you but I thought I'd post just so you knew you werent the only one.Im not sure about your situation and why you've never been in a relationship but I know for me it partly has to do with how picky I am and partly how quiet I am. I also know I have not met the girl Im meant to be with yet and therefore havent dated any but just try to keep telling myself that she is out there and I may not meet her for another 10 years (god I hope its not that long).Anyway Im sure the person that is meant for you is also out there and someday you will meet him/her just try to think positive until that day.
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