A
male
age
51-59,
*asonL
writes:I have been in a gay relationship for 18 years(since the age of 16). We are very happy and committed and loyal. 3 years ago, a younger man entered our lives and turned it upside down. We both fell in love with him and fought desperately for it not to happen. 3 years later we are all together still, it wasn't something that was planned, it just happened and progressed. I'm desperate to talk to anyone who is in a "three-way" relationship as there appears to be no chat groups or forums for this type of relationship.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2011): My partner and I are gay and have been together for 20+ years- a random sex meet with a stunning bisexual 22 year old has led us both into a monogamous relationship with him for past year and a half.
We do not live with him as live far apart but spend most weekends and holidays together. It hasn't been easy as there were sexual cracks in our original relationship and all 3 have to wkr hard to enure o one is ever left out- all of us having couple time together has helped. The amazing adventure we are now experiencing both sexually anD emotionally is hard to describe. We both know we will lose him eventually but would not change it for the world
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female
reader, annagreywolf30  +, writes (27 April 2011):
The father of my unborn child ( i'm due August 4th, 2011.) blindsided me with a similiar situation. I am BI and he brought home a girl from a bar one night and has been calling, texting her, hanging out with her constantly. At first he told me he was doing it to make me jealous and to irritate me. It did at first until he started seeing that he was in love with both of us and that the girl he brought home and I were startimg to become attracted to each other little by little, as we are still getting to know each other. He spoke to her the other day by text and by phone and we all agreed to give this '3 way relationship' a try and are looking for a six bedroom house to move in together. The reason for this is because he can't decide which one of us he wants to be with so he saw this girl and me starting to become attracted to each other and he went for it. The other thing is i love him and yet i'm falling for her like i did for him.. Maybe this can/will work out.........
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2010): canewood,
i wrote on january 27th sorry i took so long for me to come back and see what was going on..... our 3rd person who has recently gotten more committed to us started out as a one night stand....we in the past have always stayed in contact with the one or two three ways we had because we got to know them as friends first then it happened..... in doing that (and granted we just moved and were looking to meet new friends)we started hanging out just for dinner and movies with our current 3rd person and the one night stand turned into something that happened a couple nights a week and that turned in to sleepovers and spending our free time planning around his schedule.....just like you do when you are dating....but you both have to agree to spend time alone with the third to be sure he is someone you really both connect with idividually devoid of sex it will also set the bar for jealousy and creation of rules.....you need to look for a compatable friend and let the sex fit itself in not find a 3way and hope the love fits in if you push it instaed of letting things fall into place it won't end up being what you wanted in the end....3 way RELATIONS take ALOT of work and conversation but sucessful ones do happen I will check back more often
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male
reader, Canewood +, writes (3 February 2010):
I have been looking all over to try and find people, person, anything that can talk to me about Threeway relationship. Me and my partner of 8 years would like to add a third to us. We are gay and are having a horrid time in the gay comunity finding someone who isn't all about the sex. Everyone just says yes yes yes good good now can we have sex. Granted I love sex but thats just a threesome. We can get that anywere. We want a relationship. HELP. =) Anyway I am so glad that there are others out there who have done this. I know its tons of work. Anyway I feel starved for conversation and support.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2010): i feel ya my partner and i have been together in a very happy relationship for 12 years and for the past year and a half we have had a third person envolved but not committed to us......my partner and i are still strong but feel the pangs of guilt and jeoulousy over his other friends we don't really have anyone to talk to about it but each other .....the only person who knows is a friend of his which we know and call a friend ourselves but still isn't someone i would call to talk about it .....i am so confused about what is right and what kinds of boundries should be in place
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female
reader, loumishka +, writes (20 January 2010):
hi there just wanted to update. i wrote back in july, we are all still together had a few ups and downs but mainly through things that had nothing to do with our relationship. we are all still very much in love with each other and its all still working fine. kids are all happy together and we are just one big happy family. obviously problems still come up but they always will no matter how many people are involved. hope everyone elses are working out fine too. us 3's need to support each other and screw those who dont understand. x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2009): I am in a three way relationship. Two female one male. We all live work and sleep together. Everything is equal. Just like any relationship it's not perfect but compared to our friends in monogomous relationships fight and argue more than we do. There is no jealousy because we all trust each other. It's amazing and I love it!! Imagine being madly inlove with one person but multiply it by two!!
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male
reader, cwalters610 +, writes (14 October 2009):
Saw your post... already a few years old but I am in the same type of relationship... Is your still surviving?
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female
reader, loumishka +, writes (18 July 2009):
hi there i too am in a three way relationship. i have been married for 8 years to my lovely husband, and we have been very happy. i have fancied women for many years but never experiemented as didnt want to loose the love of my life, untill i found my over love of my life. i told my husband i was bi and wanted to try a three some he was happy to try, with the friend of mine (who i had already fallen for). nothing happened between us till it was the three of us, so we have never been behind his back. her and her baby now live with us and our three children. we sleep in one bed and all have alone time sepretly and its working great so far but it is only 5 months in. we are planning to spend the rest of our lives together and even thinking of more children. x as long as everyone is happy and no one gets left out it can work. love is what we all need in our life why not get as much as possible.
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male
reader, jawed23 +, writes (11 December 2008):
I'm currently in a 3way relationship. My partners and I have been having difficulty with everything. I was the original couple that invited the 3rd in. At times, I feel as if I'm putting all the effort into it and the others arent. Our communication is terrible. One will say something to the other and instead of addressing these issues at that time, they come to me and tell me and I have to address the other at that time. My original partner is having problems now because he older(37) and me and the 3rd are younger. I am 24 and he is 28. I am in love with the 3rd as much as I am my partner. Does anyone have any advice to help me deal with this situation a little bit better? I dont want it to end by any means.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): Hi,I have been in a three way gay relatinship for 6yrs now. Yes at times it's not easy, but if you all want it and feel like your wanted there, then work for it. If your the third that came into the relationship, it can take a very long time NOT to feel like the third, and yes outside comments and what others think should not interfere with what YOU want, I know its hard at times, and yes some outsiders would just think its all about sex but this is about you and not the outsiders. Its natural for my partners to talk about things together and then just happen to mention it to me, it can hurt but they have been togeter for 6 yrs. before I came along so you have to give them some slack, I still let them know when I feel a bit hurt or upset etc..... They have a past and they have old friends that dont exactly include me in some things or take the relationship seriously, but after 6 yrs some are getting it LOL. anyway, take it easy, and make sure you dont let some of the things get to you. Your there for you and them and no one else. The end story is, if your happy.. then you should be there.my opinion anyway!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2007): There is a good documentary "Three of Hearts: A Postmodern Family" that chronicles the long-term union and eventual breakup of a three-way relationship. I have not seen it yet, but it appears that a relationship of this kind can be strong, but our human nature can always take over.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2007): Hi,Jealousy is tearing our relationship apart because it is not a balanced relationship. I, the female, have a girlfriend and we live in her husband's house with his open permission, but not open acceptance. Although he was told the nature of our relationship, he still interjects his emotional authority and she allows his, why...because is it not blanaced and we are in his house. So I will lost out because I can't take the emotional authority in my own relationship in her husband's house. Too bad for me. So, get a balanced, understanding, open honest communication and don't just hear what one says, but take note at how one really feels and respect those feelings, whether you lose or win. Respect is the ultimate goal.
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male
reader, JasonL +, writes (1 March 2007):
JasonL is verified as being by the original poster of the questionComplicated. But it gets easier over time. Nothing prepares you for it, it just happens. We are very happy, but there is also the matter of distance between us. Early on, emotions, jealousy were really destructive, honesty was important. Trust was the most important issue and it was hard working at it. I have 2 lovers, 2 soul mates and get double of everything! My first partner of 18 years, we had issue over it and fought hard not to fall for this person, but over time you cant deny your feelings. We were very strong and secure and let this person share our life. He in returns has equal love and respect completely and the balance is just right, but its been hard working getting here. I suppose my first relationship required a lot of hard work and effort for it to last 18 yrs, so we both realise that more hard work is needed to see our new addition works well with us both. God we have had ups and downs and jealousy has nearly destroyed us, but when sorted, the rewards are double. Hope this gives you a little insight.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2007): Can you give more details about this relationship? I'm curious...how does it work?
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