A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im 22yrs old, I was separated from my son's father A year ago because of his infidelity. Since then my friend (guy) of three years have been there for me. We started dating but he saw a couple of emails where i was talking to my ex boyfriend from high school(when i was 15Yrs old). He is in Irak and we used to talk about memories from school and when we used to date. There where a couple emails where i use to call him sweetie or hunny ( i regret it) He was goin to come to visit his family for a couple of weeks, he asked if could see each other. I said yes, but it never happened. He did come to his family's house he called me, but i never meet him. I didnt want him to take it a wrong way. That weekend he came, my boyfriend and i got togeher and is the day he saw ma emails. I really love him but he tells me he cant forgive me, but he still calls me texts me and visits me. I know he loves me too. He has always been there for me and my son. he loves him like it was his. What can i do so he can forgive me? i don't want to loose him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2009): He will really have to forgive you on his own, there really isn't anything you can do. But don't continue to feel guilty and give into things that later down the line will really hurt you. He has two choices: Either he can't forgive you and needs to move on and stop texting and talking to you, or he can forgive you and continue a boyfriend relationship with you. If it continues the way it is, how long will this last? How long will he talk to you and come see you, but say it can't be more b/c he can't forgive you? That's not fair to you. Yes you made a mistake and yes you hurt him, but You still need to know what's going on b/c he is confusing you by saying one thing and doing another so you need to draw some lines here so you can either work on rebuilding the relationship with him or work on moving on with your life without him. If he needs time to forgive you then give him his time, but make it clear time means time away b/c people just seem to get too comfortable with a friend w/ benefits type relationship and you really love this guy and want more so don't settle for less. We all make mistakes, but we don't have to pay for them forever.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2009): Basically, you don't have anything to be forgiven for. If your current boyfriend can't accept that you have an email chat with someone once in a while he's either very insecure or a control freak. My daughter-in-law calls me 'sweety' and 'hunny' but I know she has no romantic inclinations towards me and my son certainly has nothing to worry about!
I think you need to stand up for yourself and tell him to live with it. Tell him you won't be dictated to about who you talk to, be it email or in person.
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