A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello Everyone,I am a 21 year old male and need some relationship/life advice. Here's the situation, just two weeks ago my girlfriend left me after being with me for 1 year, this has been my longest relationship. I'm torn, I need advice to put myself at ease because I feel like I can't do anything right and every relationship I have horribly fails... I met this girl a year to date through our best friends, I was coming out of a horrible relationship and was looking for a close friend of the opposite sex and she became that right away. With time we started to express feelings for each other and one thing led to another and we started dating. The reason she left me was because of the "fighting", which has actually tapered off in the last few months before breaking up. Now she was a very jealous girl, hot tempered, but also had some nice traits about her. We shared many amazing times at the begging but as time went on the true her started to emerge. To make a long story short, I was cheated on, punched on numerous occasions (once even in front of my parents), manipulated, she would flirt and plan to meet this guy in another city that she met online, and now after everything left out to dry. No matter what I was put through I stayed true because I loved her and never gave up, even though my friends suggested I do because no one should have to put up with that. Now obviously you readers don't personally know me or her so just take my word on what I am saying. We did fight a lot, many fights stemming from stupid arguments, usually started by her, where I truly tried to agree to disagree, these arguments turning into full blown fights. Ex. Me mentioning she should put a title on her essay, an old friend texting me, when she didn't get her way, and just stupid things in life that aren't worth arguing about. When I say fight she would punch me, I would say I have had enough, she would beg for me back and then I would feel compelling love for her and say you know what I love her and things will get better. I took her back no matter what happened. If you knew me I'm an easy going person who hates drama and arguments. My side of the story, I helped her with a lot, getting into university (introducing her to many of the part time programs that would accompany her schedule and helping her apply), driving her to appointments, driving her mom to appointments, giving her a place to stay when her and her mom would fight, being there for her no matter where I was or what I was doing, picking her up during all ours of the night, driving her to school, I feel like I went all out because she promised I was her soulmate and promised she would be with me forever and I believed her.... Now she leaves me when things aren't going her way, I feel used because know matter what I went through I always tried harder now when things aren't going her way she just leaves me. She tells me all this future yap saying I have hope we will be together and stuff like that. What do I do, how do I get over these horrible thoughts of her with someone else, I'm scared I won't meet anyone else, there are just so many bad thoughts in my head, I just wana ease my mind. Just today she said she was the best looking girl I'm ever going to get, which made things worse for me now :(. I have really acted out of character begging for her back and what not when I should just let it go. Please help ease my mind. I'm a good person and feel so abused and taken out to the trash.. The constant excuse I keep hearing is it takes two to fight, but in my mind it takes one to argue. Thanks in advance for your help.
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best friend, flirt, jealous, met online, soulmate, text, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Simply Jane2011  +, writes (26 November 2010):
 I agree with aunt honesty,You never hurt the one you love, Yes you may have had feelings for her but think of the way she treated you and the little respect she had towards you!. Like aunt honesty said, delete all her contact details, and get her out of your head, shes the kind of girl that works on looks instead of personality. All i can say is keep being who you are and enjoy yourself, someday you will meet somone who loves you as much as you love them, who wont abuse or take your love for granted, just keep your head up and look towards the future
Hope this helps :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for such a great reply, its really helped give me some hope. Thank you!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 November 2010):
 Ok you need a wake up call badly, this girl doesnt love you, she used you and you let her time and time again, if she loved you she wouldnt lift her finger to you, she wouldnt be online talking to guys and meeting up with them, she was using you for stability until someone better came along and you need to learn to accept that and move on, do not let her back in to your life as she will only keep hurting you, and she is saying that she is the best looking girl you will ever get? ha please how would she know she has a very high opinion of herself, and at the end of the day you would be far better off with someone who's personality overlooks there physical looks. You need someone who is nice and wants to be with you and treats you well not someone who is going to put you down and use you and throw you away. Get her out of your life, listen to your friends start hanging out with them more, go out on nights out and enjoy yourself like every 21 year old should be doing, delete all her contact details and tell her you do not want to hear from her again that you can do better than her and the way she has treated you and just get her out of your life, dont listen to her that you wont get a better girl than her, because that is not true. You are only young go out and enjoy free time with your friends and meet new people there is plenty of time for relationships just concentrate on being happy on your own for the minute.
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