A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi I am having problems in my relationship.I love my wife of three years but I need to better myself in communicating Does anyone know any good books or good advice I need it Thank you Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010): Uh, oh. Perhaps try communicating in a different means, like, write her a letter, or an e-mail. Sounds stupid, but when we have problems communicating, sometimes when we remove ourselves from the situation and communicate in a better mind, undistracted, we say exactly what we want to say. What is it you are trying to tell her? Are you having a rough time communicating in general, or in this instince because you need to come clean about something?
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (21 July 2010):
Ok, she married you, why? Were things always the way they are now? Most couples stop talking because they get distracted by work, kids, facebook, and with most men...TV.
See when you first got together, she was the only thing on your mind. New love, feelings that were so good, sex. Then you got comfortable, and got back to the way you were before she came along. Problem is, things are no longer the same.
A relationship is a job...same thing happens if you don't keep working on it...you get fired.
Turn off the tv, go for a walk and just talk. If she comes home and says hi, give her your full attention. Sometimes women just want you to listen.
Put youself back to the guy she fell in love with, and wanted to marry.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (21 July 2010):
 Just go to any Self Help area of any bookstore and you will not lack for an answer. Also having a counselor to talk to may also help you open up. I advise you to consider both. I was once married to a guy who was the "strong silent" type. He had virtually no communicatin skills and it destroyed our marriage. No one wants to be with a person who is stoic all the time. If this is you, then it's time you start opening up. Observe how other people converse and adapt. If she asks you a question "How was your day?" don't just give her one-syllable answers and be sure you bat the conversation ball back. If your answer is always "Fine." or "Okay." then you have not batted the ball back for more dialog. A better response would be "Fine, how was your day?"....Get the picture? Now, if you are referring to the fact that men and women speak different languages then you need to learrn to listen carefully before you answer. Don't read something into a word that wasn't there. My current b/f has difficulty with this one. If I say, "How about we grab some dinner and go see a movie"....his response is likely to be, "I can think on my own, you don't have to tell me what to do!".....Hmmm, puzzling isn't it? How someone can innocently make a suggestion and end up with an explosion. That's because he reads things into my sentences. He came into this relationship with an entire arsenol of baggage that has nothing to do with me and I am frequently bumping into these landmines. I hope I've given you some ideas since you didn't give us much to go on. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010): i had a similar problem and all i did was watch the same thing my spouse did. try it. she'll love the fact that youre spending time sharing an interest in what she likes to watch
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