A
female
age
26-29,
*ebbieHoneybee
writes:Hi aunts, i have a bit of a problem. Its a long story:I have a boyfriend, he's a muslim. I had a boyfriend before him. He didnt treat me well, took me for granted, commented on other girl's pictures on facebook telling them how sexy they are. I thought "if he talks to girls, then im gonna talk to boys" so i started adding boys again to my facebook. I met 3 guys. 2 from which became my friends, my brothers. One of them became my current boyfriend. He loves me and i love him. I left my other boyfriend for him. I had a great relationship with him. I had lots of fun with the 2 other boys i met, they were my BEST friends, they're like family to me. My boyfriend had an accident last august, got in the hospital, went into 3 comas and had to go on intensive care. He had to be taken to a different country for surgery. Was so so close to death. My friends were there for me all the way. They supported me in my agony and were there when i needed them. Apart from that, my boyfriends father didnt accept me because he wanted him to study first and have a girlfriend when he would be 18. By the way, i suffer from hair-pulling, its an obessive-compulsive disorder that i cant resist. I've had it for a long time now. It started again while my boyfriend was in the hospital. THEN my boyfriend, whom i love so much, told me to get rid of my male friends on msn and facebook. I got rid of ALL of them except my 2 friends. He wanted this, because he got rid of his female friends too. When i told him i wouldnt gt rid of my 2 friends, that same night he had a car accident and went unconscious. I was scared. So i just got rid of them without thinking... Somehow i think my boyfriend knew i would do it if he faked an accident, so maybe he did fake it? This happened last November. End of March this year, i felt i had some explaining to do, and is started missing my friends more than ever. So i added them again to explain.. i told my boyfriend i would do that, he said OK but on the condition that i would get rid of them again after i explained and apologised... the forgave me, it was like it was all like before... but then i had to leave again. Ever since that day i havent stopped thinking about them. I would feel sick when i ate, couldnt sleep... i cried. A few weeks ago i told my boyfriend that i wanted them back... hell broke loose. He gave me a choice: him or them. I chose him. But now, almost 2 weeks ago, i found a lot of signs telling me to contact them again. Which i did. One of them is so relaxed, he forgave me, told me it was about time i came back and that he missed me tons! But the other one... very cruel to me when i came back. He accepted me back in his life, but we dont talk much. When i asked him if he missed me at least a little, he told me he didnt really care... (these 2 boys are friends with eachother too), my other friend told me that he was lying, that he did love me and had missed me but that he just didnt express it. I couldnt believe it. I was struggling about talking to him first, until one day he made the first move by sending me a webcam request. I was so happy because HE made the first move on talking to me. Then yesterday when i talked to him, he seemed so unsocial towards me... like he didnt care, like he didnt want to talk to me. I dont know what he thinks of me.. does he love me?? does he miss me? does he hate me? to this day, my boyfriend doesnt know i have them back in my life. planning to tell him after my exams,, but i think this will be the end of my relationship with him. Opinions please?? and what should i do?? What does my friend think of me?? PLEASE HELP
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female
reader, RebbieHoneybee +, writes (28 May 2011):
RebbieHoneybee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy boyfriend lives in egypt,, so do my 2 friends. thank you for your answer, and if you want you can provide me a more extended opinion now that you know the big detail i missed out! thank you for being interested in my question anyways :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2011): How well do your parents and your family get on with your boyfriend? It is sad for you, if your boy friend's father does feel you and his son should not be as close.But some families are more strict and want their children to have the best opportunity to do well in their education journey. Because a good education is very important to ensure the best chance to complete a good degree and then a good career path.what makes you think your boyfriend would 'fake' an illness? Is faking situations common amongst your friends? Why would a boy friend do that? If he did? It's pretty sick to fake something as big as a car accident. Was your boyfriend in your country when he had the ''car accident,'' that you think might have been faked? Or in another country? For surely you would have gone to visit him in hospital or at home if he was in a car accident and you lived nearby?I was not sure why your boyfriend went into three comas and was in hospital and then intensive care and then had to go to another country for surgery. If Spain (your country) was providing 'intensive care' then surely Spain was also capable of the surgery? You really had me perplexed at that point.Controlling boys can be of any religion and I did not see how your boy friend's religion had relevance to your question. Two years ago 65,000 people in Spain were Muslim. The figure would be higher today. Spain used to be a largely Muslim country and many of the historic beautiful buildings in Spain were designed in the era when the Muslim religion was dominant. I am very sorry to hear about your hair pulling affliction. I have known someone with that and she required extensive help from her psychologist, therapist and psychiatrist, to bring down her very high anxiety levels, before she was able to feel better about her life. But her high levels of anxiety were eventually lowered, to a more manageable level, after extensive support and kindness. I do hope you are able to get the treatment you need for your hair pulling afflication.Do keep your other two friends. Good friends are hard to find and easy to lose.Try to be very respectful when your boyfriend's father as he maybe very influential with your boy friend.
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