A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid, I'm probably one of the most insecure girls in my city. I am not content with anything on my body, face, and I am constantly bringing myself down. I want to regain my self-confidence but I have no idea how to do so. Any ideas?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2010): You say you want to regain your self-confidence. Is there anything which has made you lose your confidence? Has anything happened which has made you feel bad about yourself? If you can pinpoint something in particular, then a good place to start might be to work on whatever it is that happened to cause the loss of self-esteem in the first place. If there is something troubling you, it can help to get it out, tell someone and release it. That can help a lot.
Other than that, I think there are a few ways you can raise your self-esteem and confidence. I have always struggled with low confidence myself, and am only recently starting to improve in that area. One of the things which has been of help for me has been reading self-improvement books. I don't know if they are your kind of thing, but they have had a positive impact on me. There are loads of types out there, from dealing with fear, handling shyness, general positive books...something like that could help encourage you to see yourself in a different way. It can also help you focus more on the person you are inside, regardless of whether you like what is on the outside or not.
Doing things you enjoy, like activities and interests, can also help bring you out of yourself and make you feel better. Or what about volunteering somewhere? That helps many people, as they get a sense of contribution and worth from what they are doing.
No matter how you look, there will always be people out there who think you are beautiful. Honestly. I also get very down about my appearance too, so sometimes I try and focus on everything my body can do, rather than how it looks. So although I may think "I hate my stomach," I try and focus on what my stomach does, and how that is beneficial. Or if I don't like my arms, I try and feel grateful for how they may be strong, or how they enable me to carry things or hold people. I find it brings more appreciation, rather than criticism, to your body by doing that.
If you are feeling really bad about yourself though, then do you think you could talk to someone about it? Sometimes it can be useful to get the help of others if you are struggling with how you feel. They can help you look at yourself in a different way, and it can be nice to have the support of someone who wants to see you become more confident.
Just some suggestions anyway. They are things which have helped me, so maybe something could help you too. Take care. x
A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (18 June 2010):
Feeling good about yourself comes with inside you! work on that then the rest will fall in place. love who you are!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2010): everybody has insercurity's nobody is perfect its normal to feel down sometimes, just concerntrate on other things and forget about it.. time is a healer u will soon gain confidence if u love your self u will find more people will love u and show attention then your confidence will grow
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A
female
reader, missy.b.k  +, writes (18 June 2010):
its not unusual for a girl of your age to feel like that, every body has there ups and downs and everybody has faults, if you dont love your self its gonna be hard for anyone else to love you.. just keep your chin up and remember everyone has some insecurity nobody is perfect
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