A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need some help with flirting and peaking interest in women. I've heard stuff all over the place from keeping your mouth shut and asking questions, to compliments, to put downs, to making them laugh 'til their eyes water and breaking the touch barrier.Remembering my previous efforts at flirting make me cringe and reliving the moments of awkwardness make me more and more cautious about flirting for fear of coming across as awkward or creepy.How did those on the board with successful relationships woo their partner? How do you turn an acquaintance into a potential partner and beyond?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (27 March 2011):
 Too much flirting can make you appear to be a player. And smart girls avoid a player.
Far better to ensure that:
1. You understand who you are and your strengths and the areas you still need to work on.
2. You are not arrogant
3. You observe and evaluate before you
speak
4. You are respectful and non-judgemental
5. You actively listen
6. Once you know her name you use her name in conversation several times to remind yourself of her name in the first few moments you talk to her.
7. You have integrity and can be relied on. You do what you say you qill do.
8. You are fit and healthy and you keep in shape
9. You do not get blind drunk on a regular basis
10. You are never abusive, overly jealous. And you do not 'do' drugs
11. You always smell good and shower daily, use dederant, wash your hair regularly and used aftershave.
All eleven things will impress girls far more than a few 'lines' spouted and recycled by another flirt.
Flirting:
There are guys who are amazingly good flirts, had oodles of girl friends and maybe three, four plus marriages. But they can reel the girl in, but cannot sustain a relationship.
Or they love the chase so much that they set up a pattern, of winning the girl, then finishing relationships before it gets too deep for them.
Most girls would prefer a guy who demonstrated he lives by at least the11 tips above,
But yes, you can still flirt if you must by taking an interest in what interests her, smiling, listening to her, smelling good,
Touching her hand, kissing her forehead, pressing your knee to her knee etc. Plus the fancy lines, 'is there a husband or a 6 foot power lifter boyfriend i should be worried about? Or have i just met my wife to be, tonight, good evening, i'm ....., what's your name?' and 'i came tonight to meet the most beautiful woman here. I can see my search is over. Hi beautiful, i'm .... And your name is?
But being genuine and real will get you further than fancy lines
A
male
reader, Dr T  +, writes (27 March 2011):
Its not easy sometimes. However, getting her to talk about herself and her interests will usually put people at ease. I have tried this and the feedback I got was along the lines of 'hes a nice guy' even though I barely said a word all evening. People love to talk about themselves and feel special. Try not to take things too seriously, if you are a playful person then be playful and funny. Share some stories about yourself but again, nothing too heavy.Remember; you cant win em all so enjoy your time out meeting, enjoy your youth. Often a women will be just as self conscious as you and want someone to put them at ease.
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A
female
reader, neomum +, writes (27 March 2011):
be yourself never pretend to be someone else
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