A
female
age
26-29,
*haChaCharmin
writes:This is basically about my ex-boyfriend.Recently I had came in contact with my ex-boyfriend The reason we broke up before is because he moved back to his hometown, and I didn't think a long distance relationship would have been fair. We were in love and never really lost contact like that. Anyway we came back into contact and we were talking about how we missed each other and he cried about how much he missed me, and he says that he loves me but not the way he used too. I on the other hand still love him in that way and he says that he cant love me because I have a boyfriend.Completely unrelated to the situation my boyfriend and I broke up. I told him about it.Afterward he started sending me good morning videos and he dedicated love songs to me. He says He loves me so much and then some days hes like I just only love you like a friend, and how much i hurt him because he really loved me then he continued to cry again. He said he was hurt that i was with someone else and I can tell it bothers him because he always talks about it or ask me about it and even makes inappropriate jokes about it sometimes. He said it bothered him that He's not my boyfriend, but he says that he only wants to be friends. Anyway I'm so confused about his feelings and i feel as though he may be too but based on the situation what do you think is going on in his head? He speaks french and he doesnt think I know french but I do and so he will send me messages saying I love you and I miss you in french and joke about how he wont tell me what it means when I already know. (Id never tell him i know)Can someone give me a little insight on how to handle this and what is he thinking ?
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (22 September 2014):
 Yep I missed that part about you and your boyfriend breaking up. I think he basically told you what's in his head. You are friends just catching up after a long time but because you had a romantic history a lot of emotions caught up. There is always a possibility that he wants to get back with you and considering the pros and cons. Maybe talking to him offered some distractions from your break up. I would just leave it at that because the best thing to do to heal from a break up is to not think about relationships at all. He can't be doing that (love songs and letters) for long. He just enjoyed your attention and it feels good to have a reminder that someone used to love us. He just wants you to know you will always have a special place in his heart.
A
female
reader, ChaChaCharmin +, writes (21 September 2014):
ChaChaCharmin is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe didn't screw with my present relationship. i said we broke up over something non related...my ex knows it too. plus me and my ex broke up almost 2 years ago, and wealways talkd here and there. hes not that type of guy who breaks up relationships ive known him a long time. hes very spiritual.
my messages show nothing inapprpriate i said i missed him my bf wouldnt be upset over that because we were fiends
there was no silliness we were friends my bf and i broke up and now my ex is sending me mixed messages
i appreciate the advice but i think you may of gotten the wrong idea. maybe i should of been clearer.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (21 September 2014):
Telling an ex you have a boyfriend should be enough to stop this silliness. For some people though, they like to challenge and find out if they could steer you away from the present boyfriend, especially if the break up didn't happen long ago. A no-fault break up also makes it hard too. Even if you don't get back with your ex, he still gets the satisfaction that he's able to screw up your current relationship. It proves his existence and importance.
You could be having another relationship to speed up the move on process. It's quite unfair for your boyfriend because if he sees those messages he will be angry and worry there's always a chance you would get back to him during semester breaks.
You have to cut contact with your ex because it can be hard moving on and keeping you confused. He's saying he loves you like a friend to keep a door open but not trying to sound inappropriate.
The only thing you have to know is you are broken up now and there is not much to think about.
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