A
female
age
30-35,
*sdfjklkjfdsa
writes:This a guy I met at a party who's going to the same school as me next year, and we started talking on facebook. We would talk for 3~7 hours a night and we have really entertaining conversations. I can't tell what his intentions are, and I'd really like to date him or just be good friends, since we have great chemistry.Signs he just wants some action:-he flirts and makes things sexual in our conversation a LOT, doesn't seem to ask a lot of questions to get to know me-he says he wants to "hang out", and doesn't seem to want to impress me with a proper date-he is very good-looking and knows it, and just super confident-hes had experience hooking up with no strings attached-he hasn't asked for my number, we just talk on fbSigns that hes genuine:-he spends a lot of time chatting with me. a lot-after I told him multiple times that I can't hook up with ppl without getting emotionally attached, and I said that even tho I think he's a good guy and attractive, I still can't hook up with him, and he still talks to me-he says we can hang out first and take things slow after I stated my concerns, he says that he's not the type who would just hookup with someone and leave them hanging-when I explained I didn't want to get physical because I might end up having feelings for him, he said that it wouldnt necessarily be bad thing and that I need to stop worrying about being left hanging-he has been in relationships before-we've talked about ex's, and I told him about how my ex just wanted me for sex and didnt treat me well and he said I don't hav eto worry about that with him. also he seemed pretty serious about his ex'sSo yeah, what do you guys think? I would really appreciate some insight
View related questions:
facebook, flirt, his ex, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (2 May 2013):
Most young guys only want sex. Some will make a good effort at pretending to have a relationship to ensure regular sex, until they are bored.
A relationship is best started with a whole lot of love and if this is the case then questions about when to have sex don't come up, it just happens at the right time.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2013): Your suspicions are justified. Maybe he needs somebody to jump for a couple nights a week until something else comes along. By your word you make the description of him pretty clear. My girlfriend just read what you posted and says don't get involved with him in any way. She believes that he is almost acting like a predator. Your right the warning bells should be going off in your head. Good luck keep away from him and move forward. Another tip for you never ever reveal anything about your past relationships with any man you hardly know. There are bad people out there. This guy could be real bad news. This man sounds like one of those wackos on a NCIS programme. Say good-bye now and I will see you in class next year. For your sake you hope not. Move on and forget this man..
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (29 April 2013):
How about you stop wondering what he wants and carry yourself in a manner that reflects what YOU want?
Don't "hang out", go on dates. Don't let him come to your house before his actions have made his intentions clear. Proceed as if you're a booty call and that's what he'll treat you like.
If you must, you can always ask, but in my opinion that can be an annoying conversation.
...............................
A
female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (29 April 2013):
 I think that he is looking for some action. None of what you mentioned, including the things you say might indicate that he's genuine, makes me think that he wants anything other than sex. He hasn't asked for your number and hasn't asked you out on a date but spends a lot of time chatting to you over the internet and makes a lot of sexual comments. I don't know about you, but for me that's not really on until I've got to know a guy and feel comfortable around him. I find it a big turn-off if a guy tries to chat me up by talking about sex. It makes it seem like it's all that's on his mind. He is telling you what he thinks you want to hear, or rather what he thinks it will take for you to give up the goods. A player will say anything he needs to say. I would recommend taking a massive step back here. Stop chatting to him because the more you do, the more danger there is of him convincing you to get it on with him. The genuine guys are the ones that stick around even when they know they're not going to get sex, so if you end up going to the same school next year you will eventually find out what kind of a person he is.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (29 April 2013):
 You're just talking on facebook? He hasn't asked for your number. He gets sexual in the conversations. He just wants to hang out, not actually go out on a date.
I think you've hit on it, he just wants some action. He puts in some time chatting on facebook; for all you know, he's got 3 or 4 separate conversations going with other girls he's working on.
Players tend to groom their next conquests, they have to have several lined up so that their sex lives don't suffer. My sister dated on of those guys. He was gorgeous, very confident and as it turns out, he would line up his next girl while he was 'with' one. She was one in a series. It was difficult for her to believe it, because he was so present when he was talking to her, but it turned out, he used his charming personality tricks on lots of women. Creep.
Sorry, I digress.
Your intuition is telling you that something is 'off' with him, and you know what? Your intuition is probably right on the money.
I would spend less time chatting with him, become mysteriously unavailable because you have 'plans' (even if you don't) and keep your resolutions intact. If he's going to the same school as you next year, then see if you have any mutual friends and see if you can get more of a feel about him.
But again, I think you are onto him and his true motives.
He has never asked for your number. Hm.
Yeah, I'd cool off on the chats, do NOT get sexual at all with him on the chats and see how that goes. Some players like to see how far they can push a girl beyond her stated intentions. It's like a challenge. "Look how I got this girl to talk about blow jobs for half an hour! And she says she doesn't want to get physical, yeah, right, she's beggin' for it."
Stick to your 'no hookups' principals, don't sext with him and see how he reacts then. I expect he'll move on to the next girl he's already chatting with.
By the way, did you really meet him at a party or was that just a way to sound less naive than you simply met him on facebook?
...............................
A
female
reader, Yurimi +, writes (29 April 2013):
I think he's trying to hook up if he's already brought up the topic with you than those are probably his intentions. If you really want to grow into a relationship with him I say no sex or topics about it try to find other things to talk about.
...............................
|
