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Nearly raped, but my friends no longer believe it

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Question - (18 March 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 19 March 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

The friends who do know about me being almost raped are now saying they don't believe me or i'm being a wuss about it becasue i'm too scared to file charges. after it happened i started having nightmares, so i told someone and that ended up at the police department. I told them everything, how my now ex had tried to rape me and that he was stopped. they told me it had to go to court if they were even going to have a chance at charging him. i was too scared to do it. i can't face the man that did this to me, no matter how much courage i try to summon. when i told my friends about it they semed really sympathetic, until i told them that i had signed a promise not to prosecute form. i just can't do it, and yeah i know i should be able to stand up to him, but i can't....because i signed that form all my friends are saying i lied about what happened and i'm just looking for attention. if they dont actually say that they tell me to stop milking almost being raped, if i'm so upset why did i sign the form. i don't know what to do. i've tried explaining it to them, but all that does is seem to alienate me from them. they ignore it when i have night terrors, or when i need to talk they always say they're busy or "i know you've told me" whenever i try to play it out again...idk times like that i'm looking for some answer or a shoulder to cry on, or to prove to myself that it wasn't my fault.

plse help. i don't want to lose my friends, but i can't forget it!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

flynn 24, i'm not an adult....thanks for the options, really, i'll think on them. ^.^ but facing him in court is not an option....childish or not...facing the man that held me down, ripped my clothes and tried suffocating me when i tried calling for help isn't something i'm mentally able to do

Anon, i am seeking professional help...i have victim's comp which help's pay for therapy

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2010):

Dear, I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. Different people react differently to different things. One woman who is nearly raped might not tell anyone at all. Maybe your friends think your behaviour is not consistent with someone's who was nearly raped. I think you need some professional help. I think your friends are immature

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2010):

Being almost raped is not your fault. Feeling fear is not your fault. It is to be expected.

But you should NEVER have promised not to prosecute by signing that form. It was a childish and cowardly way of handling things.

Now your offender gets off with nothing, not even a blip on his record and is free to do the same thing to someone else, whilst you have to wear the scars.

There are avenues open here... one is convincing a court that you signed that form either under duress, or that you did not fully understand the form or what it meant.

The other is moving on. Forgiving your attacker, even when you have every reason and desire not to. And ridding yourself of the pain and shame you must be feeling.

Only you can make your hurt subside. It's time to grow up and start taking a stand like an adult.

Flynn 24

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