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male
age
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writes:Ok..long story..I,m 51 yrs and my wife is 41yrs. We both were married to other people. Her ex cheated on her causing a strain on there relationship. We meet thur mutual friends and started seeing each other. I was in the process of an divorce as well. WE hit it wonderfully and moved in with each other. I was her soulmate..The most fantastic women I had ever known..My heart craves for her. About a year into our relationship she told me , with some proding from me that in her heart she might still love her ex. SHOCKED! She said she needed to move away from me and see if their was anything still there with her wx. I sobbed, called her alot, and sent her emails asking her to come back. She said she was back with her ex and she wasnt coming home..told me to go on with my life. After about 5 weeks she called and ask to come home because she realized she didnt love him anymore. She said she had to find out so our relationship could move forward...I was thrilled. Oh and she has three children 19, 17, and 10 that I get along with great.We married 6 months later and have been so happy. She is the best woman in the world. WE did everything together.She changed jobs about 9 months ago and hates it. So much pressure there. She works about 11-12 hours a day and doesnt normally get home to 8-9:pm each day. So I have going to get the boys at school ( we kept them in their school about (30mins away). I would bring them home cooked dinner, help with homework, bed, did laundry ect everyday my wife worked. It was a GREAT relationship. I must mention my wife is an very strong and indepanant person. Also her ex had remmaried a tattoed, motorcycle woman that her kids hated. They have since divorced themselves. The dad hardly sees the boys and went 6 months without even a phone call. He recently stared to see them again, not often tho.About 3 weeks ago I noticed a change in my wife..she got very quite and was different. When I asked what was wrong she would say "nothing". About a week ago I finally forced her to tell me she didnt love me anymore and didnt want to be married to me. WHAT? we had as close to a perfect marriage as could be. The next day she sent me a text msg saying she was going back to her ex. By the way..he is having money problems and losing his house to the bank. She also told me last week " whenever you are nice to me, and do things around the house I resnt you and feel more empty them normal". I, shocked...She wont call me...I,ve heard she is with friends and getting an apartment next month. All I ever did was treat her the best I could...did things to help her be more relaxed at home ect. I know she is stressed about the job...I think maybe she thinks if she went back to her ex she could reclaim her other life where she wasnt so stressed and saw her kids more often..I need advise...What happened...I cant eat or sleep..I just want my wonderful wife home
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): Yeah good point by Justgirl. Women and man roles could be confused here. I know it isn't politically correct to sterotype gender roles, but since they have become clouded, divorce rates have rocketed, and suicide in men has increased dramatically.
I would sit tight and see what happens she may be back, but don't go chasing her, it smacks of desperation.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): Lets get this right her ex treated her bad and she wants him more. you treat her good and she wants you less. Seems you want her too much, hence becoming no challenge. Some times a challenge creates excitment.
I don't know how you get her back but i'm guessing crying and pleading isn't the way. This will only push her away more.
Good luck
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