| A
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I started dating a guy from work. I'd been single for a while and it was nice having someone interested in me. He wanted to tell everyone, i wanted to keep it quiet. I had previously dated someone from work albeit 4 years earlier but i wanted it to be kept out of work. He also began being moody if i talked to male colleagues, if my ex was around (from 4yrs ago) and gave me the silent treatment when i had to go on a business trip with another male colleague. He also applied for a role as my boss and got it. It was weird him being my boss and being childish over things so i ended the relationship. He has been so diffrent since. He can barely talk to me and looks straight through me. He never asks how my job is doing. I understand he may be hurt but he is making me feel uncomfortable especially now hes my boss. How do i deal with this please??
View related questions:
my boss, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (8 August 2016):
 Don't beat yourself up, it will not fix a thing, OP
JUST learn from it. THAT can help you avoid this kind of thing in the future. I can imagine how easy it is to fall for someone you spend 40-60 hours a week with. It's not like it's uncommon for people to romance in the work-place, it's just seldom a good idea.
So instead of beating yourself up, figure out how to move forward in the way that works BEST for you.
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (8 August 2016):
 I think you should stay put. Always be professional and no one can say other wise. He on the other hand, if he continues to make it obviously difficult for you others will pick up on it so how will that make him look- like a jerk. Just because he is an ex and now your boss does not give him free reign to abuse his power. If you are doing your job well whats to worry about. Even bosses have bosses. From now on I too would advise to keep romance out of the workplace.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOmg i asked the question. And i appreciate the no nonsense answer am gutted i have been so stupid. I wish i'd have discovered this website at the time.
...............................
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (7 August 2016):
 You can't keep a relationship with a work colleague out of work. Stop dating people from work.
This is a case of sticking it out, talking to HR or finding a new job/transfer.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 August 2016):
Learn from it?
Don't crap where you eat, AKA don't date in the work place in the future.
I'd look for a transfer to a different office or team (if possible) or even start looking for another job. Until then, JUST be professional and polite, if he wants to act like a twat, there really isn't much you can do. And IF if starts to mess with you work reputation, then talk to HR directly.
Not wanting to make idle chat with you really doesn't matter. It just shows that he is not a great boss.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2016): "How do i deal with this please??"
Start looking for a new job.
Your situation is a textbook example why one should not date co-workers: You felt the need to sneak around behind your colleagues' backs, after breaking up you were in the awkward of having to maintain close contact at work, and now he's in a position of authority over you.
You put yourself in this position and it's up to you to get out.
...............................
|
