A
male
age
51-59,
* NO
writes:Hi My wife sent a text to a male work mate and his Family stating that his family could stay here if flood waters pushed them out the house they are in. That we have a spare bed for them . His reply was " Thank you for the offer about going to bed with you both but im not wanting a foursome. He also talks dirty to her at work all the time. I have asked her about it all and she just says he is just joking around and it means nothing. He also tried to kiss her on the neck in front of me when saying good by to her at her work party . She keeps saying he is a married man and he is like 13 years older. To me he is flirting with her and pushing to see how fare he can go with it all. My wife is also his Boss and she is not pulling him in Line.Should I be concerned??Is she blind to what is happening or does she enjoy it ?
View related questions:
at work, flirt, married man, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cat lady  +, writes (12 January 2011):
 O NO,
Glad to see you back! There should never be an inconvenient time to act like a husband so don't feel bullied by that. Never put up with improprieties because you don't want to 'start something' no matter where it is. If you allow situations that make you uncomfortable to continue, they almost always get worse. Point this out to your wife.
Surely you live in a civilized country and there is legal recourse in cases of sexual harassment. Treating women co-workers in the way that lecher is doing is not only unethical these days but illegal as well. Think of the next poor lady coming into that job who may have no husband to defend her and must rely on the standards of decency set by good people like yourselves. Who wants to live in a society that does NOT have solid rules against this kind of behavior in the workplace?
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 January 2011):
 He did go over board by kissing her on the neck that just took it to far, but it sounds to me like this man is like this with all females and thus is probably the reason your wife doesnt want to be the one to mention it to him as she probably feels she is the one that is over reacting there.
It sounds to me like your wife is not interested in this man and would rather just tolerate his behaviour instead of making a big deal out of it. I really dont think you have much to worry about here. But yes one day he will mess with the wrong woman and he will end up landing himself in trouble. But you are best to stay clear and just trust your wife. Goodluck.
...............................
A
male
reader, O NO +, writes (9 January 2011):
O NO is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the feed back and I do respect my wife and trust that she would not do something, I think . "God help me if im wrong". I talked to her about it today and I stated I was upset with her but more so his actions . She stated that he does that with everyone he works with even the clients. She also stated she would pull him in line because I was not happy " if she does or not I will never Know I guess " I said, his actions will get him in big trouble one day if not from me but someone else .
I have a feeling nothing will be done about it because she does not want to rock the boat or lose a good worker . I guess time will tell. She did say that she was also shocked when he tried to kiss her on the neck " But once again nothing was said to him . I do not beleive I should pull him inline because that will be starting something at her work place .
...............................
A
female
reader, cat lady +, writes (9 January 2011):
I'm amazed your wife can put up with such rudeness! If somebody tried to kiss MY neck in front of my husband, I'd smack him down before my husband even got the chance to hit him!It's bad enough for him to annoy your wife but he just as good as told you that you are an irrelevancy and he can do anything he wants.
I'll never forget a time when I was about 9 and on arising in the morning, I noticed a big hole in the plaster on the kitchen wall and asked my mother about it. It turns out one of my father's co-workers was staying over the night before and he'd had the bad judgment to wander into the kitchen in his underwear, right in front of my mother. My father took a dim view of it and pushed his head into the wall. (he he he)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2011): She doesn't sound like she has any particular interest in him since she's not the one doing the flirting. She probably tolerates him rather than cry "sexual harassment" because on some level she appreciates the sexual attention however crass. She probably also appreciates your jealousy.
She doesn't feel as threatened by him as you do though... Maybe she just has the need to feel desired openly. Are you more reserved in your appreciation of her? Maybe step it up rather than worry about this guy.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (8 January 2011):
I dont think that you should be worried no. It sounds to me like maybe this is just the personality that this man has, he may just be naturally very flirty and a bit of a joker.
If you trust your wife and know that she would never cheat on you then i think you should just let it be. However if you are really concerned that she may cheat on you with this guy then sit down and tell her this. Tell her it hurts you and that you are beginning to feel the trust slipping and ask her to have a word with him.
Goodluck.
...............................
|
