A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:We’ve been together for 6 years and have four children with two from her first marriage. We've had a very stressful few years when I went self employed but see a light at the end of the tunnel these days. The problem is I go crazy without some domination every now and then and the longer I go without it the more absorbing the desire becomes - I'm desperate to live out these fantasies with her again.When we got together I was confident enough to tell her my sexual preferences but she realised we’d have a normal sex life too. I was the first guy to make her come so her sexual confidence grew and we played out plenty of domination games over the first three years. We had two more children and found ways to make sure this didn’t affect our sex life too much.The stress from working for myself hit home with money very tight and we lost some respect for each other preferring to blame the other for things. Sex practically stopped for 6 months however it has returned as we gradually sorted ourselves out but the domination side has not other than two occasions in the last two years. I now get so sexually frustrated that about every couple of months I can’t stop myself zoning out in anger and I start sulking like a teenager and want to rip her head off for ignoring this part of who I am. I don’t say anything when I go like this as I’m passed the point of talking plus I know she knows what’s wrong with me because we’ve talked about it before when I'm not angry and I’ve explained how it makes me feel. It’s usually triggered by something like her dressing sexy at the weekend and hinting at something domineering but then nothing happening, or something very minor happens to pacify me like the odd pair of tights thrust in my face or some foot fetish activity which involves her lying there and doing very little. I know this is something but it’s not enough and I can’t stop getting angry about it. Occasionally I ask her to stand on me or give her something to whip me with in the daytime playing, like a tea towel or paper tube but she doesn’t respond and laughs saying no. When we’ve talked about it she realises why I get like this and understands and says we will do it but then we don’t. I argue with myself about leaving her or about going to see a dominatrix and eventually exhaust myself out so I can forget about it for a while but I know these feelings will slowly build again and I’ll blow up in my head in another couple of months. I can’t get out of this cycle, its sending me crazy. What should I be doing differently, the words or intentions are sort of there from her but the actions are not?
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confidence, money, sex life, sexually frustrated Reply to this Question
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female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (12 October 2010):
 Well. this post is all about YOU. You don't mention what you do for her.
What do you do what should make her want to do this for you? Sounds like you've just been paying attention to your own fantasies, and ignoring her. Maybe you should ask her if theres something SHE wants to do.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): It sounds like she thinks your fetishes are goofy and she doesn't like them. Maybe its time to do sex the way she likes it. Can't always be about you, and acting like a baby won't change anything.
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