A
male
age
41-50,
*agic1682
writes:I'm married and I need advice.Recently my wife has been coming home late or not coming at all what so ever, so I confronted her and she said she's going to do whatever she wants.I thought we'd resolved this matter but she did it to me again.WHAT SHOULD I DO? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (22 July 2007):
 I am sorry to hear that you are in such distress. You sound bewildered about your wife's behaviour. What has been happening in each of your lives in the months leading up to your wife's shenanigans?
We are only hearing your side of the story, and only then just a snapshot of the crisis. Give us more history and I'm sure we could give you better counsel.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): This is not good. Your wife should be with you all the time. It is not good for your wife to be coming home late at night or non at all. This isn't fair for you. You should definately talk to her about this, and why she is doing this. What she is doing, it could hurt your marriage and your relationship with her. Please talk to her. Take care!!! Goodluck!!
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A
female
reader, Nevalearn  +, writes (21 July 2007):
Been there done that! Give her an ultimatum, you don't deserve to be treated like that. She either gives you an explanation for her actions and starts to work on your marriage or you move on. One partner cannot call the shots all the time and act as they please and expect to be treated with respect and trust. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, candy00s  +, writes (21 July 2007):
 Get her to sit down and talk to her.
It sounds like she is no longer commited to your marriage but i think that you at least deserve some sort of explanation she cannot just expect you to live like this.
If you marriage is over she should have the decency to tell you.
Ask her where she is staying - why she doesnt come home and where you both stand.
I think you need to prepare yourself though as everything will come out and you might not want to hear things.
Im here if you need to talk to me
:)xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2007): Plain to see that the issue isn't resolved. It sounds like your wife doesn't care about her marriage anymore and has forgotten her committment to you and the family (if you have kids).. For some reason that only you know of, she's finding marriage too constrictive and is acting out and letting you know, she'll do whatever she pleases. Some married people do this and sometimes, it's a short lived. circumstance. Eventually they come to their senses, depending on the problems within the marriage with the other spouse. However, you don't just roll over and end this. If you think this marriage is retrievable, then grab the bull by the horns and look into getting help for you and her, to resolve this. Contact a good marriage counselor and ask your wife to attend counselling sessions with you. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, bailys  +, writes (21 July 2007):
 It sounds like there must be other problems in your marraige that are causing your wife to behave in this way. and i think those should be addressed first.Suggest sitting down over a nice meal and disscusing why she is behaving this way . Tell her you worry that she could get into trouble. A marraige should be a partnership between two people who love and respect each other, she is showing neither at the moment. Good luck !
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (21 July 2007):
 Talk to her again and tell her that what she's doing isn't fair. The fact she just ups and leaves leaving you wondering if she is ok or not.
It leaves me asking if she wanted to lead a free person's life of coming and going and doing what she wants why did she get married???
I would try and get her to talk about why she ups and leaves. There could be a reason behind why she does it. Or she could just want to do what she wants.
xxxxxxxxxx
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