A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I have been married for 20 years, love my wife dearly, we have a good sex life. I would do anything for my wife , sex wise too. My concern is everytime we want to have sex, foreplay , the first thing she says is I am not giving you a blowjob ? This really hurts me, i just don't get it, I would do anything for her, and I feel hurt because of this. I really enjoy this, and I guess I wish she would. I am wondering what I have done wrong, if she really does not like this etc.
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female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (25 March 2010):
She sounds insensitive. I'm going to get crapped on for saying this but I promise you it will work. Get a porn video with a blow job scene in it. Only heterosexual single couple stuff. Leave it hidden poorly so that she 'discovers' it. You will be in big shyt for a couple of days but when you finally have 'the talk' just tell her its your fantasy and since you dont get any from her you were tempted to buy it. Dont worry about her reaction or fearsome temper. It will work once she has thought about it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010): I can understand why you feel hurt. I think if a man was to say to a woman before they got intimate that he was not going to play with her boobs then she may feel offended and wonder why he doesnt like to. your feelings are very valid. It sounds like when she does this she totally kills the mood. However she probably doesnt even realise this. If you explain to her how thi rejection makes you FEEL she will be able to understand. If you just tell her about how good a blow job feels she will probably just tell you to piss off!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010): Well now. How important is a blow job to you? If you feel that you need a blow job to make your life complete then go out and get one somewhere else. If not, then stop whining and go make love to your wife.
HOWEVER... if you want her to stop making lists of everything she won't do in the sack, then you'll have to tackle this matter head on.
Start by opening the drawer of your nightstand, located alongside your bed. Reach into the back of the drawer, way, way, way in the back, and you'll find a pair of balls. Dust them off and put them back on. The next part requires some compromise on your part.
Now that you are back in bed with your balls on, and it looks like things are going to get romantic, before she even says a word, you must whip out a scroll (use parchment paper for effect)with a written list of things that you do not want HER to do to YOU while making love. Be creative with the list and be sure to include "Blow Job" as every other item on the list of things you never want in bed. Be sure to enunciate this item each time you encounter it as you go down your list.
Take a preemptive strike at her for a change, and I am sure it will kill the mood. That is the compromise you need to make at this time.
Once you have killed the mood with your list and you are arguing over the insensitive manner in which you handled this romantic interlude, only now have you have achieved your goal, weedhopper.
Now with your balls reattached you can go down to your work shop and get handy by yourself tonight.
You may need to lather, rinse, and repeat this process several times before achieving the desired results. Note: results may vary based upon individual needs and just how narcissitic your spouse happens to be. Not valid when combined with other advice. Offer expires upon termination of marriage. Cash value 1/100 of one cent.
Glad to help!
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (25 March 2010):
 You need to have an open conversation about this. I can understand: I'd find something like that hurtful too. You need to figure out a way to explain how you feel when she says something like that: and say it in a way that's not accusing her but rather letting her know how you feel. My guess is you feel rejected, unwanted and unattractive because of it, in some way or other. I would.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (25 March 2010):
 Maybe your wife doesnt like giving blow jobs, maybe in the past she has felt harrassed into giving blow jobs, you admit you really like it, and that you "guess" she would.
Stop guessing and listen to your wife
she doesnt like giving blow jobs
I am assuming you constantly ask for blow jobs, it seems odd she seems compelled to tell you each time sex is initiated that she wont be giving you one. Okay you feel hurt, but guess what, there may have been a time when she was hurt because you focus on your getting a blow job instead of making love with your wife. She is not a blow job machine.
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