A
male
age
,
*obbye
writes:My questions are simple, I have been married for quite a while we always have had a good sex life. I know that as you get somewhat older it will slowdown. We always tried different things had a good mix 3 to 4 times a week when younger, now we will only do it if I'm lucky 1 or 2 times a month. This the first part of the question I've tried romance and special things nothing really works, what else can I do? the second part is in the oral sex part of our sex life my wife loves it when I do her and bring her to orgasm and so do I. She always did me the same way and she went all the way with it but in the last couple of years she refuses to go all the way and swallow when I come, even when we 69. She has told me she never did like doing that. My question to the many women out there, is why now and is there any suggestion how I can convince her that is what I really want? I'm not asking her to do it all the time just 3 or 4 times a year
View related questions:
oral sex, orgasm, sex life, swallow Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, bobbye +, writes (6 February 2010):
bobbye is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the answers I was hoping for a few more suggestions but I know I have to be patient. I don't think she is going through menopause because this has been going on for a while.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2010): If she is your age then she is likely going through or has gone through menopause. That will lower her estrogen and testosterone levels, both of which are necessary for sex drive. Some woman get through this with a sex drive intact, while others lose it completely. Also, certain medications can cause havoc with libido and the enjoyment of sex. Of course, the most important thing to most women is the relationship itself.
Many women refuse to or hate to swallow. Others dislike the taste, but find it erotic to do it and like doing it for that reason. Others just love it. The variation is the same as men liking or disliking giving oral to a woman. Some hate it but do it, while others love to do it. Some refuse completely.
The sex life my wife and I have had has varied over the years. The first few years it was like 6 to 10 times a week. Then we slowed down to perhaps 4 times a week. In the middle years we had somewhat stressful jobs and had some problems in the relationship. Not really bad, but she lost her desire for sex at times. Sometimes it would be a few times a week, but there were periods where it was anywhere from 1 to a few times a month. The last few years we have been getting along well, communicating well (talking out feelings and problems) and we normally have sex several times a week. We have also become more adventurous and even a bit kinky at times. We are now in our mid 60s and sex is more interesting than it was at times when we were in our late 40s and early 50s. My wife went through menopause before that.
As I tend to preach here a lot, communication is key in a relationship. When we discuss our problems and feelings then problems get solved and everything is better, including our sexual life.
You seem to have 2 problems. Not much sex and also no blow jobs. To tell you the truth, I could easily live without my wife swallowing as long as she still liked getting and giving oral and like sex otherwise. If I were you, I would concentrate on the problem of rarely having sex and completely forget about having her swallow until the basic problem is solved. If she really never liked it, then it might just be best to give up on that. Some women also won't swallow, but will allow it to drool out of their mouth. That is probably even more erotic than swallowing.
Again, you need to discuss the reasons why she doesn't seem to like sex at all and don't even bring up the swallowing. Just try to get the basic problem solved first, and make sure that things are good before you even think of her swallowing again. If the 2 of you are having trouble talking about it at all then perhaps get a therapist involved. They can get communication started and help bring out the reasons for a problem.
...............................
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (31 January 2010):
I think she has gotten to the stage where she just can't be bothered. She is in a comfort zone and you need to wake her up! First is always communication, telling her exactly what you want and also being sure to ask her what she likes too. Ask her if she is happy with your sex life. Hopefully she will ask the question back to you and that will be your chance to tell her like it is. Tell her you miss those early days when you would regularly jump each other's bones. If she brushes it off, tell her you don't want to be tempted to look at other women because you want only her. This may cause a fight but the point will be made. And maybe the make up sex will the best you've had in a while.
...............................
|
