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male
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*olere
writes: hi I am married for 2yrs but been with my wife for 14yrs.two years ago she went back home for her sister wedding and there she met her former boyfriend who she hasn't seen or spoke to for 12yrs. when she came back she kept contact with him until I found text messages between them. we talked about it and she promise not to repeat it again and she swore that there was no sex between them. two months ago she came forward and told me that she dosen't loved me anymore and she wanted a divorce and started to use excuses that she said are my fault.again we talked about it and i promise to help her go through it. she also said that she want to go back home (africa) and talk to this man by then she will decide if she wanted to go with him. at some point she said she is ok and that our marriage will work.now today she came up with the same thing saying that she still has this feeling for this man and that she can't feel anything when i touch her. what can i do as i am really down.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2006): me and my partner are always arguing lately.my past and his past are causing real problems.i find it so hard to trust him.mostly at work.he as been unfaithful before with work collegues more than once.he says he loves me and that he would never do that to me cos he as learnt from his mistakes.i just dont no what to do please help
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2006): You're wife is having a fling and I am sorry. She has made the clearcut, conscience choice to be emotionally untrue to you- how childish of her and how unfortunate for you. I sure hope her selfish behaviour and poor life choices doesn't affect any children, if you have any. If you do have children , her rash behaviours will affect the children and scar them for a lifetime. She played 'text message' footsies with this guy, behind your back game and he complied. What a pair! This is normal behavior in 14 year-olds, but inappropriate in adults with marriage commitments and families. I can tell you what her future will bring, She has decided to now have an affair with this man , who himself is scum for seducing someone else's wife She's already decided to break her marriage committment to you and any family you and she may have. She will likely live with this man for awhile, have a rip snorting good time and then the harsh 'reality' of life will hit her hard. She probably will discover this man's crappy qualities-the ones that originally broke them up , many years ago and may come crawling back to you. I hope by the time that happens, you will have moved onto a far happier place than you are now and you 'rethink' taking back a ' two timing woman, you cannot trust'. I suggest you get that divorce and face this pain.It's time to think rationally and calmly and put aside your pain, long enough to protect yourself and your life. Pain makes one weak and confused. Be strong and go hire a lawyer and make sure your rights concerning home, properties, assets are all clearly spelled. The last thing you need is for her to take advantage of your hurt. confused feelings and taking you to the cleaners. Don't allow this women to string you along. Start making plans and think smart, man. If you have children, be strong for them. They will need a solid base in their life.
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female
reader, Ainley +, writes (22 May 2006):
 you poor man i dont see how that can happen there is definatly more to this story but i shalt go into that because i dont know the whole story. maybe shes just deep down without fully knowing it missing her home? suggest taking a holiday there together it may help to reattach your relationship. but most importantly to hold this marriage together you should take some conselling together. its hard to say but all you can do is let her know your there and love her and are willing no matter how hard to let her have her time if she really needs it. i really do hope you two work things out it will probably take a long time but with patience and love hopefully it will. best wishes.
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